“Game of Thrones” last night, holy crap, right? That shit was cray. Amelia already talked about some of the episode’s main events, but on another note, I don’t think it’s any surprise that Jon Snow is the worst boyfriend. Yes, good ol’ Ladyface crapped out pretty bad on last night’s episode when he (SPOILER ALERT!) took off without Ygritte. Total dick move. I haven’t read the books yet (What? They’re so dense!), but based on the happenings so far on the TV show, Jon Snow makes a rather crappy mate. After the jump, all the ways Jon Snow––as Ygritte might say––knows nothing about being a good boyfriend (in GIFS!).
1. He makes Ygritte feel dumb. By using big words like “fainting” that she doesn’t understand. Total undermining move!
2. He’s totally annoying about the ice wall. Jon is such a complainer. After Styr cuts the climbing line connecting Ygritte and Jon to the wall, he gets super upset. Ygritte is all, “Jon Snow, what did you expect?” and doesn’t take it personally because she knows wassup. Jon Snow, meanwhile, cannot deal.
3. Actually, he’s just annoying in general. So sulky and emo all the damn time.
4. He gets Ygritte all dickmatized and then he up and leaves her. Jon Snow’s all “vow of chastity blah blah blah,” and then after, like, months of sexual tension, he and Ygritte finally hook up. But after they hook up, Jon Snow is still completely pretending to be a wildling, putting not only himself, but Ygritte in danger.
5. She tells him she’s into him and he’s like “that’s cool, whatever.” It’s like the “Game of Thrones” version of “ditto.”
6. He’s disloyal, and then he’s loyal, and then he’s ultimately disloyal. After getting captured by the wildlings, Jon Snow pretends to defect from the Knight’s Watch, but he really hasn’t. And he’s wrapped Ygritte up in his confusing is-he-or-isn’t-he plot, so much so, that she begins defending him. Also, he lets Tormund Giantsbane say some really gross things about sexing Ygritte. Disrespectful!
7. Ygritte offers to defend him, and he knocks her over instead. His girlfriend is literally ready to fight for him — pitting her against pretty much everyone she knows. And still, Jon Snow can’t take one second to defend her against the other wildlings? What kind of a jerk move is that?
8. He’s too pretty. Jon Snow, with his flowing lips and his pouty lady mouth, is just too damn pretty to be a good boyfriend.