This Just In: You Can Have A Dolphin Birth Your Baby

Forget about seeking the care of a doctor, that’s so passé.  If you’re looking to have a “supernatural” birth, you should find a nice dolphin to deliver your baby. No, this is not the premise of a “Portlandia” sketch. It’s real. After receiving a lot of “signs” and reading the book The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life by Drunvalo Melchizedek, North Carolina couple Heather and Adam Barringer have decided to travel to the The Sirius Institute in Hawaii to participate in something called a “dolphin-assisted birth.” And what does that entail exactly? I’m sure you’re wondering if dolphins’ snouts double as forceps or something. Read on, and all shall be revealed to you about the “dolphinizing” of the planet and how that relates to a baby coming out of a human vagina.

Once they arrive at the Institute, Heather and Adam will spend the next two months swimming with a dolphin pod that they hope will connect with them and their unborn child, tentatively named Bodhi. From there, the details get sketchy. I went to Sirius’ website to learn more about their dolphin birthing program. Here’s what I gleaned: the mother has a water birth in the ocean and maybe, if there are no complications and the dolphins like her, one of them will carry her newborn above water on its snout to breathe its first breath, or perhaps play dolphin games with the baby moments after it’s born.

I can think of nothing more terrifying than the thought of my newborn baby drowning/getting carried away by an aggressive dolphin (because sometimes they do that). And what about jellyfish? Or rip tides? Um. No, sir.

None of this seems to concern Heather or Adam  though. “It is about reconnecting as humans with the dolphins so we can coexist in this world together and learn from one another,” says Heather. “Having that connection with the pod of dolphins anytime – even if the birth doesn’t happen in the water – still brings peace, comfort and strength to the mother and baby during labor … Dolphins are very intelligent and healing which in turn calms mother and baby for the whole process.”

You can share your well wishes or contribute to Heather and Adam’s dolphin birth fund on their Facebook page.

[Beta Beat]
[Charlotte Observer]
[Planet Puna]