America Prevails In Traditional Cheese Rolling Competition

America! Fuck yeah! We are good at so many things, chief among them barbecuing, reality TV and Kim Kardashian. And now, fellow U.S.A.-ers, we have dominated cheese rolling. No longer technically street legal in the UK, the annual cheese rolling competition in Brockworth, England (near Gloucester), involves the rolling of an eight-pound wheel of Double Gloucester cheese. Competitors chase the cheese down a steep hill, and the first person down the hill wins a prize. Which is the cheese wheel.

OMG I love England.

In 2010, after injuries took out a number of cheese-worthy competitors, the annual event was banned, with authorities claiming the cheese chase was too dangerous. Locals were not deterred — the cheese roll has been around since the 15th century (what’s up pagans!), after all. This year, though, local police put the heat on cheese wheel maker Diana Smart, saying she could be held liable if any injuries occurred. So instead, cheese competitors were forced to chase a foam stand-in. Lame.

Twenty-seven-year-old Kenny Rackers, of Colorado Springs, Colorado, traveled frickin’ 4,000 miles to compete. Because he is super cool, he wore a full-body spandex suit for the trip down the hill. “It feels great,” he said post-hill tumble. “I trained a long time for this and got hurt on the hill practicing. I came three days early and I took a bad spill, but I came to win and that’s what I did.” Go Team USA! [Guardian]