This Woman Is Trying To Give Birth To A Shark
“I love a good piece of dolphin meat on my plate, but every time I feel bad for eating an endangered animal,” 32-year-old artist, Ai Hasegawa, told Vice. “We’re soon going to be facing a global food shortage crisis. But I still want to give life, I don’t want 30 years of painful menstruation to have all been in vain. And I want to eat good meat.”
What 30-something woman hasn’t been faced with such dilemmas concerning food and reproduction? While most of us chose to avoid dolphin meat/baby making, hoping the problem would rectify itself, Ai Hasegawa got busy looking for options that were “less costly than raising a human” with “fewer responsibilities.” To reconcile both her desire to give life and her need to eat good meat, she came up with an unconventional solution: the idea of women birthing endangered species and eating them.
Hasegawa’s project, “I wanna deliver a Shark…,” tackles “the problem of human reproduction in an age of over-population and environmental crisis” with a literal attempt to birth a shark. And why a shark? Because, her initial research suggests that sharks are the most compatible with the human body and “they’re endangered, their life-span is almost as long as that of a human, and most importantly, they’re delicious.”
Oh yes. It’s very important for your baby to be delicious but my main concern would be how hungry I would get while waiting for my dinner to gestate. That could be a problem. But Hasegawa has more important logistics to address, like the size of our uteruses. She’s been speaking to a gynecologist to figure out how to make hers bigger. “I believe humans could use their uterus as an aquarium or incubator,” she said. As far as the issue of DNA modification, Hasegawa says that wouldn’t be a problem because the placenta comes from the fetus. “I’ve been assured that it should be possible to create ‘dolph-human’ or ‘shark-human’ placentas just by modifying the animal’s DNA,” she explained.The even bigger problem, though, is the matter of stopping menstruation in order to gestate an animal. That requires medicine with many “unpleasant side-effects.” That’s why she thinks an ideal carrier would be a rich, single, menopausal woman.
Despite these possible complications to interspecies birth, Hasegawa believes it will be possible in the near future. In that case, I look forward to meeting, I mean tasting, her “shark-human.” I hope she’s willing to share her tasty offspring because I’m not putting a damn shark in my womb. Are you?