10 Hints About “Star Trek Into Darkness” (Presented In Benedict Cumberbatch GIFs)

In honor of “Star Trek Into Darkness,” which opens TO-FUCKING-DAY, I had planned on devoting this entire week to the series. STAR TREK WEEK, I was calling it, because I am creative. And then I got strep throat and was basically comatose in bed from Monday through Wednesday, returning yesterday to work quietly from my sickbed. Star Trek Week was ruined. OR WAS IT? See, having a week devoted to “Star Trek” on The Frisky is maybe a little odd, a little self-indulgent, but the bonus is that I can basically have it anytime I want, so Star Trek Week will go on next week, a week late, because like Jean Luc Picard, I am the Captain of this ship and I WILL MAKE IT SO.

In the meantime, “Star Trek Into Darkness” still opens TO-FUCKING-DAY, and while I already posted a spoiler-free review of the film, allow me to further encourage you to see it with these 10 sligggghtly spoiler-y hints about the film’s plot. And if that’s not enough for you, they are accompanied by GIFs of Benedict Cumberbatch, aka the World’s Sexiest Mole Rat, who plays the villain John Harrison in the film. Swoon.

1. It features two exciting villains, one of whom some fans will probably be angry about.

2. Yeah, I said, twooooo villains. One of whom is John Harrison, played by the Sexiest Mole Rat. The second is … well, someone Captain Kirk and crew should be able to trust.

3. As for John Harrison? Personally, I’d totally hit it. He’s complex, motivated ultimately by loyalty, and totes jacked. What’s not to love? Oh, you’ll find out.

4. There is much — MUCHHHHHHH!!!!! — to WOOHOO about. Including (in utterly non-specific terms): that kick ass chase, that oh-no-he-didn’t fight, that oooooh girl kiss, that motherfucker’s death, and that big, big reveal.

5. There’s an unexpected appearance by a favorite “Star Trek” alien race. And ZOMG they are so much more punk rock!

6. Each Enterprise officer — Kirk, Spock, Bones, Uhura, Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov — is challenged in a different way than ever before.

7. There is no teabagging, but there is a romance between two Starfleet officers. Bow chicka bow bow…

8. The film undresses a few classic “Star Trek” moments and restyles them in a new way.

9. More than few winking references are made to classic “Star Trek” characters. Shout out to Nurse Chappell!

10. The lasssssst person you would ever expect to die DOES. Evil smile.