When you ride public transportation you’re bound to have some unsavory seat mates. It’s inevitable. I recall riding the bus once with a man carrying a giant boa constrictor in a tote bag. That was a long ride. I’ve tried to block it out but I can’t. At least three unfortunate women taking the Trimet bus in Portland had the great misfortune of riding with Jared Weston Walter, the man arrested for ejaculating into their hair. A Trimet surveillance camera captured Walter standing behind women, pleasuring himself and releasing his special protein treatment onto their heads. Well, I think that earns him the worst seat mate award. He’s also earned some charges: sex abuse, harassment, disorderly conduct, public indecency and interfering with public transportation.
Sadly, this isn’t the first time Walter has been arrested for doing weird shit to peoples’ hair. In 2009, he was convicted of cutting off the hair of random bus passengers and spreading super glue on their heads. For that he served more than a year in jail and two years of parole, as well as the nickname “Trimet Barber.” It’s a good reminder to check and see who might be jerking off behind you next time you ride the bus. [Huffington Post]