The British Mail Service Does Not Suffer Your “Crackhead Oompah Loompah” Kindly

After being the victim of one too many pranks by a mail customer, the Royal Mail service (allegedly!) sent one postal customer a letter, asking him to lay off with the post-related comedy. So far as we can tell, the letter receiver, known as S. Whitman, raised the ire of the Royal Mail for “jumping out from behind a giant bush shouting ‘beware the giant bees’, repeatedly answering the door naked, and … claiming you’d been attacked by ‘crack-added Oompah Loompahs.”

As a result of the series of jokes, the letter continues, “a number of our postal staff are now nervous about delivering to your address. As such, we would kindly ask you to desist from you ‘surprises.'” A larger image of the letter is after the jump.

royal mail letter

For its part, the Royal Mail denies sending the letter. According to spokesperson Nick Martens, “We do not recognize the contents of this letter nor the name at the bottom and we would not use this process to approach customers. Of course, if any further information is provided we would be happy to investigate further.”

So where did the letter come from? Is this another sneaky S. Whitman prank? Either way, you can send those crack addled Oompah Loompahs our way, okay? [Huffington Post UK]

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