A Spoiler-Free Internal Monologue While Watching “Star Trek Into Darkness” (Presented In “TOS” GIFs)

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Last night, I had the supreme good fortune of being able to see an early screening of “Star Trek Into Darkness,” the latest “Star Trek” reboot from J.J. Abrams. You. Guys. It was so so so soooooo goooooooood. I am dying to talk to someone about it, but no one else I know has seen it yet and I refuse to be that asshole who ruins the movie — especially by revealing who the villain is — for my fellow Trekkies. That violates the Prime Directive of, like, fandom. Anyway, I need to purge my emotions about the film though, so I put together this utterly spoiler-free (I swear!) review of the movie presented in GIFs from “Star Trek: The Original Series.”

I NEED A DRINK I’M SO NERVOUS WITH EXCITEMENT.

It’s starting it’s starting it’s starting. Calm down. CALM.

Hell yeah!

Ooof close call!

Oh no he didn’t!

Whoa.

Aww, man. Sniff.

Hmm, suspicious. But alright.

They’re going WHERE?

This changes everything. Or does it?

Ohhhh, Kirk.

Aww those two. Get it, girl.

OMG THEM.

Careful!

Oh whoa didn’t expect that.

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Get it together, man!

Oh my god, I know, I know, I know!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are they doing what I think they’re doing? This is so perfect. SO PERFECT.

SPEECHLESS.

Ack ack ack ack ack.

OHHHHH.

WHUT.

But but but but but but –

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Oh yeaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!

My heart. My heart is soaring!

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