Yesterday, I took you on a journey into my bedroom as I attempted to get-off to the 5:12 minute clip/trailer for Farrah Abraham and James Deen’s hardcore porn “Farrah Superstar: Back Door Teen Mom.” You were there as I failed to climax, thanks to Farrah’s distracting vocal inflections (which I described as “a human speaking dolphin”), sex yelps and unoriginal dirty talk. I mourned that a man as talented in the sack as James Deen had been so poorly utilized. While I suspect we have many men to thank for the huge sales numbers for “Farrah Superstar” (which is already more popular than Kim Kardashian’s sex tape), James Deen is beloved by female porn viewers and I thought it was a damn shame that what I saw of “Back Door Teen Mom” did not allow his star to shine. Initially disappointed that “Farrah Superstar” had failed to please, I turned to the wealth of James Deen sex scenes available on the interwebs and went to bed content.
I made it clear in my initial piece that I was only really “reviewing” the clip/preview released by Vivid Video, edited to entice the viewer into purchasing the full shebang. Perhaps other viewers were as underwhelmed as I was, because late last night — journalism is a 24 hour job, people! — I discovered a full 42:55 scene from the video on Porn Hub (SUPER NSFW). Hmm, I thought. Perhaps I should give this another shot. A good journalist should never refuse the opportunity to review further evidence.
And so I did. Guys, I’m not saying I owe Farrah Abraham an apology, but Vivid sure does, because the preview clip they initially released does not do her or James Deen justice. Don’t get me wrong, Farrah is still annoying as hell, she still sounds like a dolphin, she still could use a few hours with a thesaurus so as to expand her dirty talk vocabulary, but let me be the first to say that she might just be a natural porn star. Her performance, while aesthetically grating on my nerves at times, became quite authentic once the pre-sex flirty banter ended, Deen’s dick firmly took over and she forgot, at least in part, about the camera. Farrah actually appears to genuinely come! Huzzah! Oh and you’ll also be relieved to know, as I was, that James found his sex growl. Fuck yes.
So, I’m kind of, sort of taking back some of what I said about Farrah Abraham as a porn star. I still would rather watch James Deen fuck a professional. But Farrah may just have a future as one.