I feel that it’s my doodie to let you know about some of the crappy services that you might not have known existed on the internet. I hope you enjoyed all the puns in that sentence, because they were meant to foreshadow what I am about to share: you can purchase poop online.
For about $30, depending on the what kind of excrement you choose, ShitSenders.com will anonymously deliver your choice of cow, gorilla or elephant shit to the stupid ex, evil boss, annoying neighbor or asshole frenemy of your choosing. The site’s tagline says it well: “Has some one really pissed you off? Don’t get mad, GET EVEN. Send that special some one a big stinky pile of shit.”
Anonymous of Harrisburg, PA writes:
“Greatest gag gift ever. I sent one to my jackass brother in law and the whole family found out about it and they are all teasing him. He dosen’t know who it came from. He’s so pissed off it’s great. It makes for charming Sunday dinner conversation.”
This is more or less the modern version of prank calling, tee-peeing or leaving a flaming bag of poop on your enemies’ doorstep — all of which were very popular methods of revenge in the ’80s. I never was bold enough to do the flaming poop bag thing, but after I saw “Can’t Buy Me Love,” I always dreamed of doing it. I did more of the prank calling and tee-peeing than I care to admit. But I imagine anything involving poop would have been more satisfying. Now revenge is all Facebook stalking and Twitter wars and naked photo leaking. Let’s get back to revenge basics with POOP! Hmmm. I can think of a few people who deserve to get a shit package from me.