9 Good Theme Ideas For The 2014 Met Gala

Look, as everyone at the 2013 Met Gala last night realized, “no one was paying attention to the Punk theme.” The theme actually became “Everyone ignored this theme.” Ashley already pretty cruelly dismissed my favorite dress, worn by the lovely Bee Shaffer by saying:

Not only does Anna Wintour‘s daughter Bee Shaffer look really pretty, the Sex Pistols were huge fans of subtle ombré and delicate appliqués.

…All right, we’re going to retire all “[first wave punk band] would have loved [oblivious rich person stuff]” before that joke starts sounding too bitter.

I wish Anna Wintour would have called me, because I had some really good theme ideas. Don’t worry. They can still be used next year! Well, some of them can be used next year. Some of them will be horribly dated by then, but I think some will be able to pull through. Seriously, I think these would be fun for everyone.

1. Subtle ombré and delicate appliqués. This is a great one that I think everyone can use, except Tilda Swinton. I think Tilda Swinton is probably going to fuck this one up, to be honest. She’ll show up with one giant appliqué and a lot of cut-outs. Like, some weird cut-out right where all of the appliqués should be. Why? Why does she ruin so much? Read more on The Gloss…

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