There I was, minding my own (lady-)business, happily masturbating with my Laya Spot, when the cat hopped up on the bed. He rubbed against my leg, purred, made eye contact with me. Held eye contact with me.
That’s it: the moment is killed. I can’t get it off when the cat is in my bed, certainly not while we’re making eye contact.
Unfortunately, domesticated animals are not the only ways Nature conspires against us from enjoying some very special alone time. Ranked from tolerable to worst, here are all the crappy ways to end a masturbation session:
You start feeling weird about your body.
Your roommate and her dumb boyfriend start having a LOUD argument.
Someone starts taking a very conspicuous dump.
Your roommate / mom / RA barges in without knocking.
You realize your shades aren’t drawn. Neither are your neighbor’s.
The batteries in your vibrator die …
… and you don’t have any replacements.
You discover the very fabric is reality is unreal.
What’s the worst way you’ve had a masturbation session interrupted? Tell us in the comments!
[Cat snuggling a woman image via Shutterstock]