Taurus (April 20-May 20): You’ll find it hard to keep your feet on the ground and you’ll love it. Finally, excitement comes without it peaking fast and ending with a sinking ship. Romance of the exceptional kind is on its way and will make you dizzy. Embrace its madness, as fearless acceptance of the unknown is your karmic move now.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): You’ve been around enough amazing people to sort out your own path to greatness. Just cue into their experience and let it be your fuel. Sure, you will have to rejigger your plan a bit, but keep your destination the same. Luckily, this week starts a cycle of ridonkulous hotness for you, so forward-ho all the way!
Cancer (June 21-July 22): The past will become new again, as the hands of the clock will be bringing back an offer that you passed up once before. It will likely be through a friend, or in some sort of social environment, bringing on a bizarre series of events. This time around, understand it’s no longer an just option, but simply fate.
Leo (July 23-August 22): This is your week to play hero, as someone you love will find themselves in a precarious situation. While you may not approve of the decisions they have made, you will be the one that can help them make amends for those bad choices. Although saving the day in the past was a thankless job, know this one will have its rewards.
Virgo (August 23-September 22): You can tempt fate, but if you do then you will see its true wrath. This week, get in touch with your beliefs — what you stand for, what your aspirations are, etc. — before you make any moves. If you don’t go the obvious (but bland) route, then you will only have yourself to blame. Self-sabotage or simplicity, you make the choice.
Libra (September 23-October 22): Playing the victim isn’t cute. Too bad, the only one that sees it as an act is the one that you want to be the most honest with. So, make this week the one in which to reveal your vices and your vulnerabilities. You’ll find that once you let go, the heaviness of it all will fade fast and courage will come on strong. Of course, how your audience will react remains to be seen.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): When you’re smiling, your whole world smiles with you. So, spread those lips wide. The bigger you open yourself up to happiness, the larger the delivery will be. Surprises are biding their time and turn-arounds will happen in an instant. Just as quickly as you feel you’ve fallen behind (or off the charts), you may find yourself on top of the world.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): You can have it all, just not all at once. While one area of your life goes up, another will go down. So, be ready to re-prioritize your time to get the most fun from the positive, and not lose so much from the negative. There is a solution, but it will take strategy and patience. Prep yourself with both, and then proceed ahead. Know this is a challenge you are not meant to lose.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Forget all that you know, and let this week blow your mind, if only a little. Trust someone is going to come out of the blue with news that can shock you in a sultry kind of way. This might even be a stranger you meet through odd circumstances too. Whomever it is, chase whatever piques your curiosity, as you’ll need extra motivation to keep your stamina up through to the finale.
Aquarius (January 20-February 19): A chance to set another stone in your foundation could happen, but don’t be too fast to sign on the dotted line. If you approach it a bit more stubbornly, you can negotiate deals to your advantage. Don’t let fear of losing out plague you either, because fate has your back and playing hardball will put you in the best position to take advantage of it all.
Pisces (February 20-March 20): An adventure awaits, but you’ll have to be fast on your feet to get in on it, because when the ball starts rolling, it won’t stop for you. Even if it involves someone you can’t stand, suck it up, because the good will outweigh the bad. Yes, seems your tolerance for all goes up when supplied with copious amounts of scintillating conversation and good cock.
Aries (March 21-April 19): There is some dirty work to be done this week, but don’t get caught in the act. The best way to stay clean is to bark orders elsewhere and gets your goons to do it for you. After all, what is the value of power if you don’t play above the rules every so often? So, use your pass now, as this is a week when your luck is up and you can get away with murder.