The Most Valuable Lesson I Learned From Last Night’s “Mad Men”

Blow job, ladies. Blow. Jobs.

In last night’s episode of “Mad Men,” Megan Draper’s saucy French-speaking minx of a mother was back in town, and she had some advice for Megan, whose distance from husband Don was all but obvious. “He may think you belong more to other people than he does to you,” Marie says, having just seen her daughter sign autographs for two teen girls. Her advice for Megan, if she wants to keep her husband interested in her, is to stop dressing like his wife. “The only thought he should have at this dinner is how quickly he can get between your legs,” she says in a bit of TMI sex advice. Megan giggles but complies, and sure enough, after a hilariously uncomfy business dinner with clients, to which Megan wore a chocha-showing dress, Don is rarin’ to go.

I don’t think Marie is wrong that Don has become distant from Megan as her own star has risen — but I certainly don’t think that that is her fault or that it’s her responsibility alone to keep their marriage hot and spicy. But I won’t deny that Marie’s advice worked, at least for the time being. A little while later in the episode, when Don returns home late, Megan gives what I think is the first blow job in the show’s history. Correct me if I’m wrong though.

Anyway, check out two clips above and some GIFs of the episode’s other great moments (spoilers ahead!) after the jump!

So, Pete, Bert Cooper and Joan are secretly plotting how they can take the firm public and make a lot of money! But Don and Roger don’t yet know. Joan is really hoping it works out.

Roger is off banging a stewardess, who he hopes can hook him up with inside intel on when various important client execs are traveling and get him access.

Pete, meanwhile, is still trying to get in Trudy’s good graces again, but she ain’t havin’ it. Also, look at what she wears to bed!

Like I said, Marie is in town, drinking. She is tagging along with Don and Megan to a client dinner with Herb Rennett from Jaguar (the guy Joan had to bang) and his wife. Marie spends the dinner talking about how stupid the wife is in French.

She is pretty dumb. Even Don doesn’t know what to say besides…

Eventually, Don tires of Herb’s bullshit and basically tells him to suck it. I suspect he just wanted to get home as quick as possible so he could do this to Megan…

Roger was supposed to come to the dinner, which Marie was looking forward to since they sometimes hook up. She’s pissed when he doesn’t show and refuses to take his calls.

Meanwhile, Pete is visiting a whorehouse, as he does, when he runs into his father-in-law, who has just been serviced by a black (!!!) prostitute.

Later on, his father-in-law drops the firm’s business, which leads vengeful Pete to tell Trudy where he saw her dad and what he was doing. She ends their marriage.

And in even worse news for Pete, losing Jaguar — their biggest client at this point — basically ruins his big plan to take the firm public. He’s so mad he falls.

HAHAHA, one more time!

Joan is pissed as hell too. After all, she had to fuck Herb for that business, and Don just tossed it aside because he couldn’t handle his dinner company?

Team Joan!

Luckily, it’s Roger to the rescue! His stewardess connected him with an exec at Chevy and the firm gets to pitch a brand spankin’ new ad campaign for a new car.

Peggy, meanwhile, is wearing an awesome coat…

…and has developed a bit of a crush on her boss Ted Chaough and the two share a kiss.

Don is also looking to hop into bed with Cutler Gleason and Chaough, and asks that the two firms team up to pitch Chevy. The plan works!

And not only that, but the two firms are merging all of their business. Don and Peggy, together again at all!