Sorry, You Can’t Name Your Kid “Mafia No Fear” In New Zealand

Oh, you were thinking of naming your son “Anal,” and you live in New Zealand? Too bad! The country’s Internal Affairs department vetoed the name, along with 76 others, claming they were inappropriate, bizarre or offensive. A sampling of some of the verboten names?

  • 4Real
  • V8
  • Queen Victoria
  • .

Yes, somebody wanted to name their child the punctuation symbol for “period.”

Another family wanted to name each of their children by their ordinal value — as in, First, Second, Third, Fourth and so on.

The courts also struck down names that implied a royal rank, such as Duke, King or Princess. The name Justice, and its spelling variations, Justus and Juztice, also failed to gain approval.

New Zealand has a history of judgments on appropriate and inappropriate names. In 2008, the courts ordered that a girl named “Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii” had to change her name because, they said, it made “a fool of the child.” (Sounds like a pretty cool name to us.)

Other banned names include “Messiah,” “Christ” and “Lucifer,” because obviously, do you really want to name your kid after the devil? But look, New Zealand’s not a bunch of bossy monsters. They did allow one set of parents to name their kid “Violence,” and another to dub their child “Number 16 Bus Shelter.” Who is making the rules around there?

And New Zealand’s not the only country with naming rules and regulations. Earlier this year, a woman in Iceland had to fight to keep her birth name, Blaer, after Icelandic authorities ruled it was on a restricted list. Blaer, by the way, means “breeze” in Icelandic. Sweden’s also put its foot down on a few wackadoo names, like “Superman,” “Metallica,” “Ikea” and “Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116.” Maybe it’d be easier to say without the “1116” part?

But if you’re looking for a few successful crazer name inspirations, try these on for size.

1. James Dr No From Russia with Love Goldfinger Thunderball You Only Live Twice On Her Majesty’s Secret Service Diamonds Are Forever Live and Let Die The Man with the Golden Gun The Spy Who Loved Me Moonraker For Your Eyes Only Octopussy A View to a Kill The Living Daylights Licence to Kill Golden Eye Tomorrow Never Dies The World Is Not Enough Die Another Day Casino Royale Bond. Yes, that’s all one name, and yes, it’s comprised entirely of James Bond films. Do you think he’s had to change it since “Skyfall” came out?

2. Terri Iligan needed some money, so she basically sold the rights to her name on eBay. Golden Palace bought it, and the rest is

3. Tyrannosaurus Rex. Tyler Gold changed his name to T-Rex, but weirdly he’s not the only one. There’s also a registered sex offender named Tyrannosaurus Rex Mullins. Whoopsie!

4. Optimus Prime. Actually, we have no quarrels with this one. It’s pretty frickin’ cool.


[Toddler photo courtesy Shutterstock]