Chances are, if you spend any time on Twitter, you know who Kelly Oxford is. The Canadian-born mom of three has amassed over 450,000 followers thanks to her hilarious and dry-witted one liners about everything from notorious celebrities like Chris Brown (“Leave it to fucking Chris Brown to make a dance song out of police sirens”) and dead rockstars (“One thing Kurt Cobain would have loved is trending on Twitter on his birthday”), to random life moments (“Almost passed out from trying to blow a 3″ long pube off a toilet seat so no one in this restaurant would think it was mine”), marriage (“Marriage: Waking up to the best news stories being emailed to you from your husband in the bathroom”) and motherhood (“How do you get a red wine stain off a baby?”). She counts Jimmy Kimmel, Roger Ebert, Jessica Alba and David Copperfield among her biggest fans, but, as her new memoir, Everything Is Perfect When You’re A Liar, makes clear, fame hasn’t gone to Oxford’s head.
The book is among one of the funniest I’ve ever read, while also managing to be both moving and inspirational. In the collection of essays, we meet precocious six-year-old Kelly, who’s holding a casting call for her play Star Wars (okay, based on George Lucas’ movie); 17-year-old Kelly, who, along with her BFF, travels from Canada to LA in search of Leonardo DiCaprio; and 30-something Kelly, who is invited to David Copperfield’s hotel in Las Vegas along with her husband and another couple, for a tour of his private collection of magic memorabilia. (While she’s in Vegas, she also manages to put her elbow in a glob of semen at a strip club, but you’ll have to read the book for the details.) Oxford’s humor is brilliantly subtle and she never beats you over the head with wisecracks. I laughed out loud more times than I can count, but I also teared up at points, particularly when Oxford writes about being a new mom, and worried about what would happen if her baby’s father died and she was a single mother, starts working at a retirement home as her “backup plan.” Everything Is Perfect When You’re A Liar is personal without being exploitative, smart but utterly unpretentious, and a complete delight to read. I’m not lying when I say this book is damn near perfect. [$25.99, Everything Is Perfect When You're A Liar]