“The Walking Dead” Season 3 Concludes With A Bang

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Don’t get your panties in a bunch — I’ve learned my lesson from prior recapping experiences and won’t be giving away any “Walking Dead” season finale spoilers before the jump on this post. If you click on and see something you didn’t want to see, you have only yourself to blame!

What does it say about me that I found Merle’s death last week more heartbreaking than Andrea’s death this week? Is that a sign that I’m a bad feminist? Or is it perfectly reasonable that I found Andrea intolerable since episode one of this show? Anyway, ever since Andrea met the Governor and chose him over Michonne, I’ve been sure that the show would find a way to redeem her and then kill her off, as they had also attempted with other unlikable characters like Merle and Laurie. Alas, for poor Andrea — who missed a couple opportunities to kill the One-Eyed Gov and fought annoyingly and tirelessly for a “peaceful” resolution between Woodbury and the prison, and was imprisoned in his torture room as a thank you — it was not to be. The Gov stabbed former “advisor” Milton and left him in the room with Andrea, so that she would eventually be devoured by him when he turned into a walker. In the end, a wrench Milton had left hidden for Andrea, allowed her to escape from her cuffs in time to drive something shark through Walker Milton’s skull — but not before he bit her, and in a place that couldn’t be sawed off like Grandpa Herschel’s leg.

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When Rick, Daryl and Michonne eventually found Andrea bleeding to death, it was immediately clear to all four that there was nothing left to be done. Andrea herself knew her time was up and the only way to avoid turning was taking a shot to the head, which she wanted to do herself.  But Andrea wanted to be sure that everyone from their group was safe and alive, as “I just didn’t want anyone to die.” And later, “I tried,” to which Rick replied, “Yeah, you did. You did.” I’ll give Andrea that — she did try to keep the peace, but was often blind to the actual realities of the situation. In the end, she was only successful at getting on my last nerve. So the only sadness I felt watching this scene was in seeing Michonne cry over her friend, who chose a lunatic with a fishtank full of heads over her.

Meanwhile, besides the long past due passing of Andrea, the season finale was full of other excitement. Rick and his posse had a plan and the Governor was none the wiser. When the Gov rolled into town with everyone but Tyreese and Sasha in tow (who stayed behind to watch over the children and old folks in Woodbury), they found what appeared to be an empty prison — until Rick, Glenn, Maggie, Carol and Daryl, clad in riot gear, started raining bullets upon them. The Gov’s people — or those that made it out alive — took off running or in the vehicles they had arrived in, unwilling to face a firing squad.

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One of the people on foot, a teenage boy, had the unfortunate luck of happening upon Hershel, Beth and Carl, who are hiding in the clearing waiting for the attack to be over. Carl, who clearly has pubescent testosterone surging through his preteen veins and is already pissed that he and his borrowed Sheriff’s hat weren’t allowed to kick some Governor’s ass with the rest of the able-bodied adults, finally has his chance to show who’s boss. Though the teen runaway is putting down his gun and surrendering, Carl shoots him anyway. Hershel, who has managed to hold on to his morality despite the circumstances, is appalled. Good ol’ Hershel, always worried about people getting into heaven.

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Later on, Hershel tells Rick that Carl essentially executed a boy who was surrendering his weapon and Rick asks Carl for an explanation. Even though I think Carl is basically dead inside — being forced to shoot your mother in the head so she doesn’t turn into a walker will do that to you, I guess — and is starting to resemble Shane or even the Governor  more than his own dad, I have to admit he totally owns Rick in this moment. Rick has often been too mealy-mouthed in his decision making and it’s gotten people killed. That said, WATCH YOUR MOUTH CRAZY CARL.

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As for the Governor? He’s mad as hell that his soldiers left the prison and didn’t stay back and fight. When they dare to suggest it was more of a slaughter than a fight, the Governor silences them — by mowing every single man and woman down, with the exception of his two henchman, who look on and do nothing. Seriously, what are these dudes thinking? It’s just the three of you now, and your boss is a crazy, scary motherfucker. I don’t have much hope for these sheep.

One woman manages to play dead and escape and she’s found by Rick and crew. She joins them back at the prison, as do all the other survivors left behind at Woodbury. So the prison is basically a day care center and old folks home now? I’m excited to see how that pans out in season four. Let the supply runs for Gerber baby food and adult diapers begin!

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