Last week we asked readers to vote on a post they wanted me to write. The winner was 6 Myths About Squirting. Here it is!
Female ejaculation has been called the “one of the most hotly debated questions in modern sexology” because no one has been able to crack the code about how or why it happens. We can agree that squirting is the expulsion of fluid through and around the urethra during or before an orgasm. For most women, it’s the unicorn of sexual experiences, meaning we have only dreamed of meeting it face to face. This explains why there are so many urban legends about a friend of a friend of a cousin who could do it on command every time. And you’re like, “Gee thanks, that really helps me understand this thing.” It may be a while before we have definitive answers, but in the meantime we can break down some of the existing myths about squirting.
1. That it’s pee. Many experts believe that what comes out when a woman is ejaculating is urine. Women who squirt will tell you otherwise. Some have given it the smell or even the taste test and insist that it’s NOT pee. Scientific research on the matter has been inconsistent. In a study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, researchers determined that the fluid emitted during orgasm showed all the characteristics of prostate plasma and not urine and concluded that this might be proof that our Paraurethral/Skene’s gland, where the fluid comes from, function as female prostate glands.
2. That everyone woman is capable of doing it, they just have to learn. There are lots of “experts” in the female sex education world who think that it’s possible for every woman to squirt because, duh, we all have Skene’s glands so why shouldn’t we be able to. The leading expert in female ejaculation, Deborah Sundahl, offers books and workshops that “makes female ejaculation within reach for most woman.” I think the operative word here is most. What does most really mean? Research is, again, inconsistent. Percentages of women who report that they have at some time experienced the gushing of fluid during orgasm range from six percent to 60 percent depending on the study. Another factor which may determine a woman’s ability to squirt is the placement of the Skene’s gland and ability to produce prostate fluid. This varies from woman to woman, meaning that, physiologically, not every woman can squirt, even with the proper education.
3. That “squirting” and “gushing” are the same thing as female ejaculation. Squirting and gushing are often used interchangeably when talking about female ejaculation, but they’re actually a different thing. It’s been suggested that “real” female ejaculation includes the release of a thick and whitish fluid from the female prostate, while “squirting” or “gushing,” commonly seen in porn, is the expulsion of clear fluid from the urinary bladder. Much of our confusion about female ejaculation comes from mixing these two phenomena up.
4. That it’s caused by stimulation of the G-spot. Because we’re still confused about the G-Spot, it’s no wonder that there’s some question as to whether or not the G-Spot is responsible for female ejaculation. Here’s the deal: the Skene’s gland is located on the back wall of the vagina near the lower end of the urethra and may be near or part of the G-Spot. So, while stimulating the G-Spot during sex may lead to female ejaculation for some women for others it may not do jack. And that’s assuming that you’ve found your G-Spot. God, vaginas require so much effort.
5. That women who can ejaculate experience more pleasure than those who don’t. Some women who can ejaculate have claimed that their “wet orgasms” are better than the very best “dry orgasm.” To this sexual superiority complex, I say WHATEVER. If you are enjoying your “dry orgasms,” good for you. And if you’re enjoying your wet orgasms, good for you, too! No one has the right to tell anyone how they should be experiencing pleasure. Do what works for you.
6. That what you see in porn is real. Oh porn and the unrealistic, sexual expectations it imposes upon us. Whenever you see a large amount of fluid squirting out of a woman’s vagina in porn, keep in mind that this can be faked by putting water in the vagina before filming or by having a woman pee on camera. Women who can ejaculate will tell you that it’s easiest when you are relaxed and having cameras on you is not the most relaxing way to experience pleasure. Most women who ejaculate report that they are not able to do it on command like circus ponies. Imagine that.