Girl Talk: Yeah, I Can Squirt

I’m no sexual stunt woman. I didn’t even know female ejaculation existed until about five years ago. At the time, it seemed like nothing I needed to worry about. You’d probably have to really put in an effort to make something like that happen, I figured. I had more important things to do. But then it happened to a friend of mine quite unexpectedly, as she was doing it with a boy toy, and my interest was piqued. Back then, I was writing sex toy reviews, so I had various gadgets shipped to me regularly. Whenever one claimed to stimulate the G-spot, I’d grab it and try it with interest, since stimulating the G-spot is crucial to ejaculating for women. While the toys gave me a sort of funny feeling in my G-spot, no waterworks ensued.

I read a book about female ejaculation by sexpert Deborah Sundahl, which had information and exercises. My friends didn’t know much about it, other than it sometimes happened to them. The response I got from those who’d never done it: “Ew.” The book was helpful, but it didn’t help me acheive what had become something of a personal quest.

One day, I was having a session with old faithful, my Hitachi Magic Wand. It has a special attachment to stimulate the G-spot; it’s blue plastic and looks something like Gonzo’s head. But I wasn’t using that; I’d tried it once, and it hadn’t done much for me. I was buzzing around with the wand on low (“high” delivers an abusive pummeling, in my opinion), when I felt something building, like an orgasm was about to hit, only different. I went with it and kept encouraging it with the Wand, until the liquid came squirting out — and I’m talking really squirting. There was some serious cleanup to be done on the bed afterward.

I lay there, surprised and happy, in wonder. My first urge was to text message my news to my best friends. Then I decided that might be a bit gross. I eventually told them anyway, of course.

So, now I’m an ejaculator. Not all the time — and you wouldn’t want it to be all the time. It takes the wet spot to the extreme. I’ve done it with other vibrators, and I’ve done it to a lesser extent with human contact, but it didn’t change my life or anything. Mostly, it’s a fun, funny thing to do, laugh about, and now write about.