11 Of Our Favorite Frisky Posts In Haiku Form

We’re celebrating The Frisky’s 5th birthday this week (wooohooo!), and as part of the grand celebration we’re looking back on some of our favorite outfits, reader emails, and lessons we’ve learned from the past half-decade. For my contribution, I thought I’d condense some of our most beloved and/or underrated posts into haiku form. Read on for a little poetry action, and click the links within each haiku to read the full posts that inspired them!

Sandy trapped Ami
so she stared out the window
“like a depressed dog.”

Daniel Day Lewis
models ear accessories
because we said so.

Single? Feeling sad?
Stop blaming yourself. Here’s why:
it’s so not your fault.

Taylor Swift can date
whoever she wants, OK?
(Except John Mayer.)

Thirty-something guys:
could you please stop acting like
fifteen-year-old boys?

Don’t go to bed mad.
Go to a pet store and buy
guinea pigs instead.

Want to grab a beer?
No, I want a damn cocktail,

Jon Hamm’s trouser snake
has been trying to escape.
We would charm that snake.

Grammar is better
when it’s taught by a super
sensual celeb.

Don’t you hate it when
your hormones boss you around?
We do too. Kinda.

Here’s why we love Jess:
She brought a lovely cheese plate
to a sex party.