Let’s be honest: few of us behave like perfect angels in dating or while in a relationship. Some wickedness goes too far of course — cheating is never cool — but some so-called “bad” behavior is perfectly acceptable, with some caveats. Click on for nine times when it’s okay to be a little wicked in dating … just don’t overdo it, okay?
1. Flirting with someone else, when you know your significant other won’t find out. Once upon a time, I had a very serious boyfriend, who I loved very much. But one night, I found myself out with some coworkers, including a guy with the dreamiest set of baby blue eyes. Many drinks in, I found myself seriously flirting with him in a manner my boyfriend definitely would not approve of. It was the closest I ever came to cheating, by far, which is to say, not very close. I felt terribly guilty about it, but looking back, I realize it wasn’t that big a deal, especially since I took all that flirtatious energy back home to my boyfriend.
2. Setting up a backup plan in advance of a date, just incase you need an excuse to bolt. This isn’t so much wicked as it is smart, but I suppose it could be viewed by your date as having been double booked. But hopefully the date goes well and you’ll have no need to use your get-out-of-a-second-drink excuse.
3. Badmouthing a date — if he’s a stranger to everyone you know. Look, thanks to “Sex and the City,” brunch has become the meal where we order pancakes with a side of oversharing gossip and in many cases I’m in favor — for example, if you went on a disastrous first date or just came back from having a lackluster fling in Paris. But think twice before you smack talk a paramour who’s part of your inner circle. While you may get that initial high that comes with telling a really juicy story, it is seriously awkward for everyone the next time you, your friends, and the subject of your gossip tirade are all at the same dinner party together. It’s majorly cringeworthy to be passing the bread basket to someone you just learned is a bad kisser.
4. Googling your date in advance and learning some tidbits about him, but acting like its the first time you’re hearing about them when he brings them up. What some people consider “internet stalking,” I call “doing my research and then being polite enough to keep it to myself.”
5. Hooking up with an ex’s friend, if — but not because — he’s done you wrong. For example, if he cheated, or left you for someone else, or stole all your money or something, hell, you don’t owe him squat. Hook up with his friend if you feel like it. But, for your own mental health, don’t let revenge motivate you; don’t hook up with anyone just to get back at someone who did you wrong.
6. Making up an excuse not to go to his place for the night, even though it’s more convenient, because you know he’ll figure out a way to come to yours. This type of high-maintenance behavior almost never fails!
7. Making it clear in your online dating profile what you are not attracted to, even if it appears shallow to other people. Here’s the thing: I have never in my life been attracted to a bald man. I understand and am glad to hear that there are many, many, many women who ARE attracted to bald men. I just happen to not be one of them. So, I have a line in my online dating profile saying I’m not interested in men who are significantly losing their hair, making it clear that there are MANY women who feel differently, so I don’t want them to waste their time on me. Is this shallow? I suppose so, but our libidos have a mind of their own. For the record, despite its aversion to failing hair follicles, my libido does get it up for a number of so-called flaws, namely stomach chub, ambitious facial hair, and poverty, so I like to think things even out.
8. Doing a teeny tiny bit of snooping when he leaves you alone at his place. A little! Flipping through the photo albums on his shelf is one thing; photocopying his phone bill statement is another.
9. Exaggerating on your online dating profile, without outright lying. Go ahead and say you “love yoga,” even if you haven’t been to class in two months. You love yoga when you go, don’t you?