Is National Proposal Day The Most Unromantic Day Of The Year?

National Proposal Day — a made up holiday encouraging boyfriends and girlfriends everywhere to stop getting the milk for free and actually buy the horse or whatever. Created by somebody named John Michael O’Loughlin, “Proposal Day is not meant to be used to propose marriage to a person you don’t know very well,” he cautions. “In fact, the relationship should be so close, long-standing, and emotionally intimate that your marriage proposal will not be a total shock to the person being proposed to — it’ll feel like a natural progression of the relationship to them!”

Phewwwwwww...I’m glad we cleared that up.

Continues O’Loughlin, by way of Proposal Day explanation:

“For some couples, the day will open the door to a discussion that could further their relationship toward wedded bliss, and other couples might begin to understand that, while their relationship is friendly and fun, that nothing serious is ever likely to come out of it.”

There are lots of made up, completely arbitrary crackpot holidays: Have you heard of “Kiss Your Fiance Day?” That also happens to be March 20th. It seems like they could have coordinated that better, you know? National Proposal Day wreaks of the simpering, passive-aggressive social positioning that says that women’s lives revolve around getting engaged.

But wait! It gets worse. Cue football analogy:

The Holiday has its greatest effectiveness in assisting those couples whose relationship appears to be in danger of “stalling-out” somewhere inside the five-yard line while driving toward the touchdown (also known as “becoming engaged to be married”), and the drive appears slowed to a crawl just short of the goal line (to put this matter in football terms). As in football games, there are very specific plays designed to overcome the resistance of those last few yards, and achieve the desired goal — and, in the quest for a spouse, a marriage proposal made as a result of the Proposal Day!(R) Holiday, or actually on the Holiday itself, is an extremely effective “play” that is designed to lead directly to achieving the goal of becoming engaged to be married.

I assume he hasn’t heard of engagement chicken?

But seriously. What the fuck is up with creating a faux holiday to pressure people into proposing? Or am I totally overreacting to this mess?

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