Me: Excuse me, you’ve got a little something on your chest.
Model: Oh, could you get it off? What is it?
Me: Well it appears to be an entire tree branch…
Model: Oh my. I took a topless jog through the forest earlier and it must have gotten stuck to me.
Me: I have that problem on all my topless jogs too. Once a bird nest got lodged in my cleavage and I had to raise the baby birds as my own until they were old enough to fly out.
Model: Really?
Me: No. But yesterday I dropped some tortilla chip crumbs in there, and I did feel slightly maternal toward them when I discovered them in my bra at the end of the day.
Model: That’s a really different situation.
Me: Yeah, I guess it is.
