How To Not Be The Worst: 24 Rules For Living In GIF Form
Maybe it’s because I’m a Virgo, or because I’m a hundred years old, or both, but seriously? People have zero manners or respect anymore. There are the people who don’t understand “quiet voice,” the jerks at the coffee shop who never say thank you, the asshats who insist on making other people clean up after them. These people are terrible. You don’t want to be these people, right? Good. That’s why we’ve assembled 24 easy-to-remember tips to ensure that you’re part of the solution and not part of the problem.
Click through to read.
1. Learn about this thing called “museum voice,” which is the proper volume to speak at in a museum.
2. Guess what? Also when you’re at a museum, refrain from taking goddamn FLASH PHOTOS.
3. Do not talk OVER the comedian/band/play. People came to see the performance, not hear you complain about your ex-boyfriend.
4. Always offer your seat to an older person — man or woman — or pregnant person if you have the opportunity. Stop pretending like you don’t see them, because you totally do.
5. When you are getting on public transportation of any kind, pause and let the people getting off out first. The train/bus/donkey cart is not going anywhere.
6. You’re an adult. Bring a bottle of wine or a dessert over to your friend’s house when she invites you for dinner.
7. If you’re going to insist on eating fucking loud popcorn during a dramatic, quiet movie, try not to chomp on it with your mouth open. Are you a cow? What the hell.
8. Do. Not. Steal. Cabs. Ever. Wait your motherfucking turn or find a completely different block.
9. Don’t interrupt people. Let people talk, especially people who are kinda shy and need a little more time to express their thoughts. You’ll get your turn.
10. When you’re in a dressing room, don’t leave piles of clothes all over the floor. It’s not that hard to try on clothes without completely ransacking the place.
11. If you smoke, don’t blow it directly in people’s faces.
12. The product limit for the express line at the grocery store is not just a cutesy suggestion. Please take your overflowing cart to a normal line.
13. If you’re sick, please please please try your best to not spread your sickness to the entire world. Yes, sometimes you have to go out in public/to work when they’re sick, but that doesn’t mean you have to sneeze on door handles and not wash your hands. Let’s all try our best to not be Gwyneth Paltrow in “Contagion,” OK?
14. Your turn signal exists for a reason. Use it.
15. When someone lets you into a long line of traffic, give ‘em a little wave. Seriously, I live for the “thank you” wave, and I get so sad when people act like they were totally entitled to the spot ahead of me in a traffic jam.
16. Don’t slam doors. I feel like someone’s mother saying this.
17. Learn the subtle difference between teasing and ridiculing.
18. Threatening to hit/punch people actually isn’t funny if the person you make the threats to has a past history of abuse.
19. If you get busted doing something bad, own up to it and apologize.
20. Sucking up makes you look like you aren’t confident and it annoys everyone around you.
21. Don’t wear shoes on other people’s beds (unless they say it is OK).
22. Take out the garbage if you put something stinky in there, like cat litter.
23. Children become exponentially less adorable when they scream and kick the walls.
24. When the barista at your coffee shop hands you your drink, don’t just snatch it off the counter. Say thank you.