Here’s a sex advice question that comes to us via the UK’s Guardian:
I am a 23-year-old man and am obsessed with celebrity culture. Whenever I have sex with my girlfriend, I insist that she must wear a mask of one of the female celebrities who really turn me on, such as Billie Piper or Kimberley Walsh. My girlfriend isn’t too impressed with this, but goes along with it anyway. However, when she wants me to have sex with her when she is not wearing a mask, I don’t think I can, because I can only get turned on by the celebrities.
I think I can speak for all of us when I say WHAT?!
But once you get beyond the fact that this guy cannot get an erection unless his girlfriend is wearing a mask (this one, perhaps?), it’s actually quite an interesting conundrum.
Sex columnist Pamela Stephenson Connolly proffered a very thoughtful background into sexual fetishes. I thought I knew a lot about fetishes and paraphilas from my Fetishes 101 piece. But Connolly is pretty much saying those of us with fetishes have some kind of sexytimes OCD:
Fetishistic sexuality is essentially based on a neurological pattern that is similar to that of obsessive thinking about anything else, including the impetus for compulsive behaviour. Such a thinking style is a bit like a hiccup of the brain, and in your case it happens to be sexually expressed.
Which, as a layman, makes sense. It’s a compulsion, not a choice. And it also makes sense that Connolly’s next piece of advice is to negotiate in bed so both partners’ desires are met, while gently suggesting these two may not be long-term compatible.
But The Frisky staff had more questions for Mr. My Girlfriend Needs A Mask On. Is it something about the mask itself that gets him off? Or is it just that he needs to look at Billie Piper and Kimberley Walsh to get off? Because in that case, couldn’t he let his poor girlfriend stop wearing masks in bed and instead watch reruns of “Secret Diary Of A Call Girl” while doing it? Or couldn’t he just fantasize about either celeb? (Not that I know anything about fantasizing about other people while in bed with a partner …) There’s so many other options.
Contact the author of this post at Jessica@TheFrisky.com. Follow me on Twitter.