Do Not Want: Shower Coach 5-Minute Shower Timer

Big Bather
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Do Not Want!

I am what one might call a leisurely bather. If one wished for some reason to paint me in a less flattering light, “bathroom hog” may or may not be the term best used to describe my habits. I can say with all honesty that I have never taken a shower in under 20 minutes; my ideal duration ranges from 45 minutes to an hour. I don’t necessarily want to take that long, it’s just that with all the shampooing, deep conditioning, exfoliating, shaving, Clarisonic-ing, and cleansing required to keep me looking just barely presentable, there’s no way I’m getting in and out of there in 15 minutes. I’m sorry, that’s just the way it is, and I definitely don’t feel guilty about making you wait outside the bathroom door for four hours. I will, however, cop to feeling the tiniest bit sheepish about the havoc I’m wreaking on the environment as a result of my over-indulgent tendencies. While I absolutely under no circumstances do not want this Shower Coach 5-Minute Shower Timer (I have enough passage-of-time anxiety already), it would probably be a wise $2.99 investment on my part. And hey, just because the sands of time are not shifting in my favor doesn’t mean I actually have to get out, right? [Complex]

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