This Is What We Imagined The Menu At A Guy Fieri Restaurant Might Look Like

Guy Fieri’s American Kitchen & Bar has had its problems. But grillmaster and flamed shirt fan Guy Fieri couldn’t have imagine the trouble he’d have after failing to buy the URL for his restaurant. Instead, hilarious Pauline Vassiliadis (an out of work writer) bought the URL and created a fake but-all-too-real version of his menu. (Click here for larger image.There’s the Hobo Lobo Bordello Slam Jam appetizer plate, consisting of “38 ounces of super-saddened, Cheez-gutted wolf meat” garnished with “thick & funky Mushroom Dribblins.” Or the Panamania entree: “Deep fried snake with a printed out picture of David Lee Roth stapled on it and a sparkle sticking out of each eye.” And they didn’t skimp on sides, either. You can get fries “cooked with absolutely no mercy” or the Olive Garden, which is “22 pounds of wine-stunned Kalamata olives tumbled over iceberg lettuce. Ranch hose optional.”

It’s making me so hungry, really. [Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar]