Anyone who’s ever cried in a cab after a terrible blind date or weathered a rough patch in a long-term relationship knows that real love isn’t always the sugary sweet experience Hallmark makes it out to be. We thought it was time to pay homage to the weird, ugly, smelly, annoying parts of love. Read on for some brutally honest love poems about dating, relationships, and toilet seat etiquette…
An Ode To Long Term Love
We used to dress up and go out on the town,
flirting long after the sun went down.
These days our idea of the height of romance
is takeout and Netflix and not wearing pants.
People might think we’re boring, they might think we’re lame,
but we live our lives without any shame.
Because there’s nothing better than having a lover
and being able to fart in front of each other.
A Haiku About Dating Fatigue
I’m done with dating.
Let’s just get married right now.
What’s your name again?
A Limerick Of Love Lost
There once was a dreamboat named Dan
He seemed like the rare perfect man
until date number four
when the T-shirt he wore
said “Rush Limbaugh’s #1 Fan.”
A Pet Peeve Poem
Roses are red, violets are blue,
If you don’t start putting the toilet seat down,
I’m filing for divorce.
Email the author of this post at firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow me on Twitter @winona_rose.