Mountain Don’t: Mountain Dew Introduces “Breakfast Drink,” World Becomes A Little More Like “Idiocracy”

Further proof the end times are here: Mountain Dew would like to provide its “extreme”-loving customer base with something that they can properly guzzle in the morning hours, so they’ve created Kickstart, a carbonated soda drink that contains five percent fruit juice.

That five percent juice makes all the difference in the world. Because of it, Mountain Dew doesn’t have to classify Kickstart as a soda, but rather as a juice drink. Company marketing officer Simon Lowden says they created the juice drink in order to provide an alternative to typical morning drinks like coffee, tea and juice. (No mention of water, of course). They’ve created several flavors for Kickstart, including “energizing orange citrus” and “energizing fruit punch.” This isn’t the company’s first foray into destroying breakfast. Last year, they partnered with Taco Bell to produce a Mountain Dew/orange juice mashup. Mountain Dew is marketing it as a “new way to do mornings.” We’re calling it one step closer to turning the movie “Idiocracy” into our truth.  [NY Times]