Ideas For Casa De Coca, Lindsay Lohan’s New High-End Mexican Restaurant

Ami Angelowicz and Julie Gerstein | February 12, 2013 - 11:40 am

Glory of glories. All of the culinary world’s dreams are about to come true. A rumor is a-brewin’ that Lindsay Lohan may soon be a restauranteur. There have been reports that Señorita Lohan has been spotted slinking around the premises of a what is soon-to-be a “high-end Mexican restaurant” in NYC’s swanky Tribeca neighborhood. Don’t try to book your reservations just yet, it’s still just a rumor, but we can’t help ourselves. We already have so many ideas for Casa de Coca (that’s what we’ve decided it should be called). Our ideas after the jump. Maybe she’ll hire us as consultants…

1. Menu items will include Herbie Fully Loaded Enchilada, Garrison Keillor’s famous authentic Chimichanga, Mean Girl Spicy Grilled Shrimp, Canyons Ceviche, Freaky Friday Fajitas, Lindsay’s 5 Alarm “I Know Who Killed Me” And Its This Chili, and Liz & Dick tacos.

2. Meals  are served on a mirror with a straw and one of Lilo’s authentic, maxed out credit cards.

3. All servers wear stripes and SCRAM bracelets.

4. Charlie Sheen covers the tips.

5. The carpets match the drapes.

6. Dina Lohan’s voice is piped into the bathroom saying “I hate cocaine.”

7. If your food’s not good, one of Lindsay’s parents comes out and blames the other one for screwing it up.

8. And obviously, the restaurant will double as an after-hours night club with a DJ booth. Señorita Lohan will have a room above the joint so she can crash there (translation: never have to drive again).