I thought wedding culture had hit rock bottom with sexy, “morning after” photo shoots. I was wrong. Things can get worse. According to “The Today Show,” “you’re not invited” alerts are the latest trend for couples who want to notify those who will not be on the guest list.
“Nine out of 10 times, it’s because of lack of space – and the couple feels super guilty,” says Tatiana Byron, founder The Wedding Salon. “These are usually people they’re friendly with, but not close to.”
In some cases, it’s not a “you’re not invited” message, but rather a “B list” invite that couples are sending. As in, should a seat open up at our wedding, you’re on the “B list.” (Oh … gee … thanks?)
Kellee Khalil of Lover.ly says the purpose of these alerts is “to avoid awkwardness and hurt feelings as soon as you send out your save-the-dates.”
As Tim Gunn would say, I’m not responding positively to this idea. It’s true that there can be awkward moments that arise around wedding guest lists. I didn’t get invited to a good friend’s wedding and just happened to be in town the weekend of and all of my friends kept it a secret from me. It was uncomfortable and hurtful. But guess what? I got over it. The bride and I talked about and it was fine. A “you’re not invited” or “B list” invite only would have made feel more insulted. And this was a good friend, not someone I wasn’t close to.
“You’re not invited” messages are the epitome of self-importance. Newsflash: people aren’t going to cry if they don’t get invited to your wedding. Especially if it’s not a good friend. I’m sure everyone’s happy that you’re getting married and would love to be there if you want them there/can afford it, but sorry to break it to you, no one is checking the mailbox hourly for your save-the-date. Get over yourself. [The Today Show]