Be My Boyfriend: Czech Prez Candidate With A Full Face Tattoo

Dear Vladimir Franz,

They say that beauty is only skin deep, and it’s pretty clear that you took that literally. As the first fully-tattooed presidential candidate of the Czech Republic (and like, probably anywhere?), you’re blazing a trail for ink-stained politicians everywhere.

Furthermore, I can really get with your anti-establishment vibe. You said you’re running for prez because Czech politics had become an “embarrassment.” Plus, this is the first time Czechs will directly elect a president, and we’re sure you’re a lock with the “fans of green people” and the “people who live in squats” demographic.

Though you’re inked on over 90 percent of your body, you’re offering an added incentive to the Czech people: If you win, you’ve offered to let the public choose how to color the remaining 10 percent of your skin. It’s like a group art project!

Plus, even if you don’t win, you’ve still got your career as a lecturer in art at the Prague Film Academy and as an occasional composer. Mega-tattooed and artistic, too? How dreamy.

Colorfully yours,