13 Excuses We’ve Used To Avoid Sex

Breaking news: men don’t want to have sex all the time. I know. Total shocker. Seriously, the expectation that anyone will want to have sex all the time is ridiculous. Sometimes your privates need to rest, dammit, or you’re just not in the mood. The other day, the Daily Mail published the results of poll about why men avoid sex. The survey was about erectile dysfunction, which we’re not going to talk about today. Instead, we’ll focus on some other popular excuses men came up with to get out of doing it. Assuming all the equipment was working properly and stuff, the most commonly cited get-out-of-sex excuses  included the pets are watching, I’m too busy playing video games, and I’m too full. I’ve heard these all before. Even the pets excuse, which I thought was weird. Substitute “playing video games” for “listening to NPR” or “practicing guitar.” Naturally, I had to conduct an informal poll myself. Here are some of our favorite excuses. Please share yours in the comments.

1. “Head colds kill my libido.”

2. “But I just made the bed.”

3. “It’s raining out and I need to wake up early tomorrow.”

4. “I just took a shower and I don’t want to get sweaty again.”

5. “I ate too much dairy today.”

6. “My spirit animal doesn’t feel sexy right now.”

7. “I’m too cold.”

8. “I haven’t shaved my legs in a really long time.”

9. “I’m wearing a baggy night shirt and I feel like my mom.”

10. “I just read a really sad essay on Slate.”

11. “I’m soooo sleepy.”

12. “I forgot to take my birth control.”

13. “I have my period.”