The Best Comment Threads From Reddit’s “I Was A Dildo Engineer” Ask Me Anything

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Doctor Dildo?

Really, the best thing about Reddit’s “I Was A Dildo Engineer” Ask Me Anything were the comment threads. Sure, it was interesting to learn that dildo engineers are highly educated, well-paid and ethical. It makes you feel confident about what you’re putting in your vagina. Even if the people designing your sex toys are all men. That was an interesting tidbit: that everyone on the dildo engineer’s team was a dude. Also, it was helpful to find out that if you take the middle battery out of bullet, it lasts longer. But the comedy. OH, THE COMEDY. After the jump, the funniest threads.

In response to VibratorEngineer’s answer that he prefers Phil Collins-era Genesis to Peter Gabriel-era Genesis:

“I’ve been waiting for this answer for all my life.”

“I can feel it cumming in the air tonight.”

In response to VibratorEngineer saying that his company was like a division of Proctor & Gamble:

“I misread this and thought you were saying proctor and gamble had a sex toy division…dang”

“No-Tears Butt-Plugs”

“How do you pronounce ‘tears’ in this case? ‘teers’ or ‘tares’?”

In response to VibratorEngineer saying that one of his coworkers brought a box of vibrators to give away at a party and that women were grabing them by the handfuls:

“This should be the standard party gift from now on.”

“Every guest gets a complimentary bag of dicks.”

“Is that like a plastic bag, and they’re all mushed in there like chicken parts? Or is it like a paper bag, and they’re all sticking out like baguettes?”

“Do I just suck the side of the bag, or pull them out one by one?”

“Sticking out like baguettes, of course.”

In response to VibratorEngineer saying that they put the vibrators in the oven to test the parts:

“Someone please tell me another kind of job you get to stick dildos in an oven. I’m legitimately curious.”

“Dildo chef”

“Cunnilary arts, surely.”

“Punishment porn.”

In response to VibratorEngineer saying that his boss had his PhD in Mechanical engineering and was sad about his plot in life:

“So now you know… Don’t get a PhD. It will take all the fun out of getting paid money to make dildos”

“But ‘Doctor Dildo’ has such a nice ring to it.”

“Dicktor?”

“Cocktor!”

“MEDICK!”

Other Randoms:

“When you tell someone to go fuck themselves are you just talking to a beta tester?”

“There’s no shame in crymaxing.”

“I’m kind of surprised that a dildo engineer misspelled ‘masturbation.’”

“Do you have any vibrators that can withstand the destructive power of tequila?”

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