Brandi Glanville Got A Revenge Vagina, Should Just Run Off With LeAnn Rimes

I’ll admit it. I’m obsessed with LeAnn Rimes. Between the quiff and the painful “Entertainment Tonight” interview and reports that she cried after Brandi Glanville said she can “go fuck herself,” I can’t help but rubberneck at the girl. She’s spiraling and needs to get it together. Then I read some highly entertaining excerpts from Brandi Glanville’s new, tell-all book. OMG.  Pass-aggro digs galore.

This one about licking frosting was my favorite:

“LeAnn had ‘accidentally’ smeared some cake frosting on her top (she was still a bigger girl and completely flat-chested at the time) and asked my husband, not realizing that I was standing behind the both of them, if he wanted to lick it off her … This woman asked my husband if he wanted to eat the frosting mess she’d dropped on her nonexistent chest? … He hadn’t realized I was there, either, and he laughed with hungry eyes at the suggestion.”

Even better is Brandi’s admission that she got a new vagina on Eddie’s dime … for revenge:

“This pretty intense surgery had an even more intense price tag: $12,000 … A brand-new vagina would be an Eddie-free vagina … I decided that since Eddie had ruined my vagina for me, he could pay for a new one. I gave [the doctor’s office] Eddie’s credit card number.”

So, after reading this, I had a revelation: Brandi and LeAnn should ditch Eddie and run off together and raise the kids. Eddie is the problem here. They’ve been wasting their energy on him. Life would be better for both of them without Eddie. And I’m realizing that they’re actually the same person, only Brandi has a slightly better sense of humor. I can picture them having a nice life together, doing a lot of yoga and shopping with Eddie’s credit cards. [Life & Style]