Congratulations, Jennifer And Ryan, You’re Terrible, Mazel Tov!
Jessica sent me this wedding video with the caveat that it would probably make me very angry. If I wasn’t on a shit ton of migraine meds at the moment, she’d probably be right. But instead, I just laughed at the bride’s dad invoking Martin Luther King Jr.; the fact that this groom is gonna have to listen to this woman’s unconscionable vocal fry for the rest of his life (or until divorce!); the groom awkwardly spinning the bride around like a swollen driedl; the “bride” director’s chair; the “West Side Story” passel of bridesmaids and groomsmen each of these a-holes included (she has, like, 25 bridesmaids); that the bride’s mom is basically trying to upstage her daughter in a mother-of-the-bride wedding dress; the histrionic soundtrack; and the fact that I had to have a snack in the middle of the video because it was so fricking long.
So yes, I’m so glad you two shitbirds found each other! There really is someone for everyone. [Blackbook]