It’s A “Nashville” Recap, Y’All: Emotional Confrontations Galore!

God, could I love this show any more than I do? It gets better every week! Last night’s episode was my favorite one yet, even though my couch is now stained with tears thanks to all the emotional confrontations. Ready to relive the drama with me? Let’s do this…

The episode kicks off with Rayna and Juliette performing their #1 hit, “Wrong Song,” on tour together. The sexual chemistry between Rayna and her hot hipster guitar player/producer Liam is off the charts, and they’re hogging the stage with their bumping and grinding. Juliette is not happy about it, but she’s even less happy about the news her manager gives her after the show: “We’re giving Rayna a ride back to Nashville on your private jet!”

As if Juliette’s life could get ANY WORSE, once the dueling singers and their entourages board the plane, her bean dip has gone missing. This sparks what might be the most hilarious exchange on the show to date, with Juliette, Rayna, and Liam trading perfectly timed catty remarks (attention “Nashville” producers: more scenes like this, please!) before Juliette discovers that Rayna and Liam have been happily munching on her bean dip the entire time. Juliette, I feel you, girl: bean dip betrayal is the worst kind of betrayal.

What’s been happening back in Nashville? Oh, you know, the usual: Scarlett and Gunnar are being adorable, Avery is working hard to win the Biggest Douchenozzle In The World Award, Deacon is reeling after quitting The Revel Kings because the slimy rat-faced lead singer tried to rape his niece. Oh! And apparently the slimy rat guy leaked a story to a big magazine that Deacon was “let go” because he had fallen off the wagon.

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Alright, ready to cry all the tears? After talking to Deacon, Juliette goes to see her mom, and they have the most touching mother-daughter EVER. Just watch it, OK? Because I’m already crying just thinking about it and I really need to finish this recap.

The tour must go on, right? Rayna kisses her husband and gets on Juliette’s plane. “We’re waiting for one more,” Juliette says with a devilish grin, and then we see Deacon running across the tarmac because he’s decided to join Juliette’s band. Rayna’s husband sees this too, and the look on his face is just purely, “Aw heeeelllll no!” We have to wait two weeks for the next episode, which is probably good for my emotional health, but damn, I cannot wait to see what happens on this tour!