Hump Day Hottie: Jason Clarke From “Zero Dark Thirty”

Amelia McDonell-Parry | January 23, 2013 - 12:20 pm

Last night, I sat down to watch “Zero Dark Thirty,” the Oscar-nominated film about the U.S. military operation that killed Osama bin Laden. I was prepared to have mixed feelings about the movie; while everything I’d read suggested that it was fantastic filmmaking, the movie has also been criticized for being inaccurate and, ostensibly, pro-torture. However, I was not prepared to pop such a serious girl boner for so many of the dudes in the film. Yes, yes, the movie, in my opinion, totally leaves the viewer with the impression that information gathered from tortured detainees contributed to the CIA finding OBL and killing him, but the movie also left me with the impression that I’d like to some naughty things of my own to actor Jason Clarke…

Clarke is just one of the hotties in the movie — there’s also Lady Gaga’s boyfriend, Taylor Kinney, a previous Hump Day Hottie, not to mention, Kyle Chandler of “Friday Night Lights” fame, and, I dunno, every single swarthy motherfucker with a beard. But Jason Clarke wins this special shout out because he is both dreamy to look at, secretly Australian (he has an American accent in the film), and not getting nearly enough attention for his acting in the film. The torture scenes in the movie are incredibly difficult to watch, in part because Clarke, who does most of the torturing in the film, is so very convincing. Trust me, I felt totally guilty about being so hot for him even as he waterboarded a dude, but I’m a slave to my loins, obviously. Luckily, I will have a much easier time lusting after him in his next film — he’s playing George Wilson in Baz Luhrman’s “The Great Gatsby”! My ladyparts are so relieved. [Photo: Vanity Fair]