“The Bachelor” Recap: A Record Is Broken, Someone Takes A Tumble & Sean Is Basically The Best “Bachelor” Ever

Has there ever been a more perfectly blonde and tan example of why you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover? I admit, I came into this season of “The Bachelor” knowing little about Sean Lowe, but was pretty dismissive of him based on the fact that he’s such an Aryan Ken Doll. I assumed he must be shallow and vaguely dumb and just looking for a woman he could keep barefoot and pregnant at home. I am quickly starting to realize, however, that I was very wrong about him. Sean may just be the deepest, most authentic “Bachelor” in the show’s history. Let the recapping commence!

Lesley, the blonde political consultant from D.C., gets the first one-on-one date with Sean this week and he takes her to the Guinness World Record Museum in Hollywood. Apparently his father broke a world record a few years ago — for driving through all 48 states in record time or something — and Sean wants to follow in his lead … by engaging in the longest televised kiss with Lesley. Here’s the thing: I think we can all agree that making out for over three minutes with someone you’re hot for isn’t all that hard — what is hard is not disconnecting your lips at all. I mean, I’ve had a few epic five hour makeout sessions, but those always included moments of pulling away, teasing, kissing necks, whatever, you know? So actually LIP-LOCKING for three minutes sounds a lot more complicated that you might initially think. Luckily, Lesley and Sean had stamina and serious boners for each other, and complete the task at hand — and then some. After scoring their Guinness World Record, the two snuggle on the couch and it’s clear that Sean is really into Lesley’s dry sense of humor and obvious intelligence, and she scores a rose, securing her place in the lion’s den for another week. Lesley is one of my original picks for the final four and I remain confident she’ll get that far, if not farther.

This week’s group date is a volleyball match on the beach between two teams of women — the losing team will be sent home after the game, while the winning team gets to spend the rest of the evening with Sean, scoring that oh-so-valuable alonnnnnne time. The game itself is pretty boring, and the losing team — including Taryn (a boring blonde), Kristy (one of the models with the toothy grin) and the other Lesley — are all sobbing messes after they’re defeated by one point. Oh wellz! The winning team — including Tiny Teeth Dez, Creepy Amanda, Lindsay and Kacie — is stoked.

During the evening portion of their date, each woman grapples for alone time with Bachelor Bronze. Lindsay continues to improve upon the strange first impression she left in episode one, when she stepped out of the limo in a wedding gown. I’m still not really sold on her, because she seems to be working overtime to prove that she really is a serious person and a smart person and a family-oriented person, or whatever, but I sort of get the impression she’s trying to be what she thinks Sean wants and I’m not sure we’re seeing the authentic her. Still, she’s smart enough to stay out of the drama sparking between Amanda and Des, who are engaged in a passive aggressive, but fairly harmless, game for Sean’s attention.

The Frisky SIngle Video Player ‘No Auto Play’ (CORE)
No Changes are to be made to this player

It’s rose ceremony time! But just as he’s about to give out the first rose, Sean stops himself and asks Kacie if he can talk to her. They walk outside of the room and Sean brings the rose with him, which has the other women tittering about what he’s up to. As it turns out, Sean doesn’t want to put Kacie through another rose ceremony, that he has too much respect for her as a friend to lead her on for even a second longer — he likes her a lot as a person and was excited to give her a shot when she came on the show wanting to explore a romantic relationship, but he’s realized he doesn’t see her in that way. Sean sends Kacie packing in the kindest way possible, earning even more of my respect. I wonder if Kacie might have lasted another week, though, if she hadn’t behaved like such a devious child about the whole Des/Amanda “feud”?

After Kacie leaves, Sean begins the rose ceremony for real. AshLee, Lesley M and Lindsay already have roses and are safe, and the remaining roses go to AmandaCatherineDaniellaDesJackieLeslie HRobynSarahSelma and Tierra. Kristy and Taryn are sent home, shocking no one.

On another note, I am pretty sure this is the longest any Black woman, let alone two – Robyn and Leslie — has lasted on this show. And if either of them makes it to the final four, but doesn’t win, we might actually see the first black “Bachelorette” next season.