How “Normal” Is Your Sex Life? This Book Tries To Explain

Everybody wants to know how their sex life stacks up and now there’s a whole book dedicated to just that! The Normal Bar, out February 5, reports findings from a survey of what nearly 100,000 people worldwide said about their sexual behavior and relationships. But the book is not just looking at what average Joes do, it focuses on more specific findings: happy couples.

Via USA Today, here’s just a few of the book’s findings:

  • 40 percent of couples say they have sex three to four times a week
  • 48 percent of men and 28 percent of women report having fallen in love at first sight
  • 43 percent of men and 33 percent of women say they are keeping a major secret from their partner

It seems that even those who reported being the “happiest” were still keeping secrets: a whole 27 percent!

The goal of the book, according to co-author James Witte,  who directs the Center for Social Science Research at George Mason University, was to to see what behaviors happy couples reported to see how to help others who may be in less satisfying relationships. (Although 62 percent of respondents were in the “happiest” category and 14 percent were “extremely” happy.)

One more finding from the book is a sad confirmation that shouldn’t come as much of a shock: in the U.S., romance is slowly becoming extinct. Although surprisingly more men (44 percent) versus women (29 percent) say this bothers them “a lot.” (Well, then do something about it boys!) A whopping 44 percent of Americans report that they “hardly ever” or “never” go out on a date.” Lame!

Critics are quick to point out that you shouldn’t immediately compare your sex life to these findings. Psychologist David Buss of the University of Texas-Austin told USA Today:

“[T]here are huge individual differences in sex drives and individual differences in sexual chemistry within relationships and all sorts of other things — job stress, kids — all sorts of things influence it. It would be alarming if people got too overly concerned with where they stack up in terms of frequency.”

The survey sample is also not an accurate representation of the United State’s demographic, and was also not conducted at random. The participants were 89 percent white, 68 percent women, and 56 percent ages 35-an- older. The “normal” people is really only for mid-30s and older white women in relationships.

Despite The Normal Bar’s small sample pool, I found the findings to be an interesting look at sex, secrets and romance throughout the world today. In a world where dates can be looked at as antiquated, it’s interesting to see that at least for this sample Americans go on dates more than those in some European countries known for being romantic.

What do you guys think of the new “normal”? Let us know in the comments!

[USA Today]


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