Things I Invariably Regret Posting On Twitter

Sometimes I forget that my Twitter feed is followed by nearly 5,000 people. Not braggin’, just sayin’. So sometimes I post my very emo feelings (like the one above) or my deep thoughts about Essie’s Splash Of Grenadine nail polish, assuming only my closest girl friends are going to read it. And then I get @ replies from a bunch of strangers and think, Oh, dear.

I never know whether to use Twitter as solely a professional tool or an extension of my brain. It’s sorta both. I hate the idea of “personal branding,” but I also understand why it exists and is a good thing for some people. I just don’t think that my “personal brand” is anything too flashy: I’m honest, I’m real, I’m thoughtful, I’m nuanced … and more than a little occasionally, TMI.

Here are just a few types of tweets I invariably find myself regretting, with examples from the last month alone.

Tweets That Reveal What I Ate For Dinner

The two most dangerous words in the Spanish language are “queso fundido.” — Jessica Wakeman (@JessicaWakeman) January 18, 2013

So, I think I’m going to join a gym again.

Tweets That One Day Might Get Me Arrested

Some day a joke tweet like this will be badly misinterpreted. I know it.

Passive Agressive Tweets

But I still think LinkedIn should do this.

Tweets That Make Me Sound Like A 14-Year-Old Girl

He was really cute, though.

“My Biological Clock Is Ticking” Tweets

Tick, tick, tick …

I Mentioned Emo Tweets Already, Right?

But for realz.

TMI Tweets About What’s Inside My Toilet

It was food poisoning, by the way.

Sharing Fan Mail

Now that’s just mean.

Bitter Tweets

Some people think “Your’e So Vain” or “You Oughta Know” are the world’s best breakup songs, but I maintain Kate Nash has it locked down.

Tweets About Spanx

Some things should just be kept private. Like Spanx bruises.

What tweets do you invariably regret posting on Twitter? Let us know in the comments!

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