“Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” Recap: A Mega Multi-Meal Thanksgiving

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This episode of “Here Comes Honey Boo” made me realize that I’ve been celebrating Thanksgiving wrong all these years. I’ve never made a Junecrow to scare the gnats away or ate Billy Bob mega multi-meal style or worn a fuzzy turkey hat or used the wishbone as a toothpick. What have I been doing with my life? Thanksgiving Boo Boo-style, after the jump.

A Boo Boo History Lesson

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I move that the Boo Boos rewrite all of our history books. Alana sums up Colonialism in one succinct sentence: “The Indians lost everything and just got a crappy meal … and casinos.” Preach it, sister. Oh and in case you didn’t know, Pilgrims are actually Amish people because they dress the same. I had no idea… 

Junecrow

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Junecrows are soooo much scarier than regular scarecrows. Uncle Poodle comes over to help the girls build an authentic June scarecrow look-a-like complete with blonde wig, big head, vajiggle jaggle, forklift foot and toe nail polish. Sidenote: Uncle Poodle shouldn’t even try to pretend like this is the first time he’s a vibrating power tool near his ass.

Teats

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Thanksgiving would not be complete without knowing where your food comes from, so June takes Alana and the girls to a farm to learn about real live turkeys and teats. Alana, aka Dr. Boolittle, is a natural with teats. Like a pro, within moments that girl is squirting that milk right into her mouth. Straight from the teat.

Welcome Chicken Nugget

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Because of the magic of the internet, we knew that Alana got a pet chicken named Nugget, but we had no idea that the redneck parrot was living inside the house and pissing and oooing wherever she damn well pleased. Really, that’s all one can ask for in a pet. Amelia is in a corner somewhere, trying to self-soothe.

The Mega Multi-Meal

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In this episode, June introduces us the concept of a multi-meal, which is only slightly grosser than sketti. To make a multi-meal, you just throw everything you have around the house into a bowl and make a corporation of the meat, the side and the sauce with your best utensil — your hands.

Obviously, Thanksgiving dinner is the ultimate mega multi-meal complete with a turkey and the food of the gods: canned-shaped cranberry jelly. (It helps you get your fruit plus it prevents against urinary tract infections and can be made into a lasagna). Now, onto June’s turkey recipe! To make Nugget’s cousin Billy Bob tasty, June stuffs his ass with lots of butter and bastes him with more butter with the invented arshal-ficial inseminator (a spoon). Mo’ butter, makes Billy Bob mo’ better. And don’t forget the special sauce. Just sneeze on that sucker to make him moist. YUM! Really, couldn’t be more thankful for this show.

Previously on “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”

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