What’s Going On With The Jolie-Pitt Kids?

Jolie-Pitt rumors galore! An Angelina sex tape! A quickie wedding! But I know what you’re really wondering: what’s up with the kids? Ask and you shall receive. I have updates about your favorite brood. Usually Shiloh gets all the good headlines, but Knox may have stolen her thunder.

“Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s four-year-old son Knox Jolie-Pitt reportedly missed a boat trip during his family’s festive holiday in the Caribbean because he is scared of water and didn’t want to get out of the box he was in.”

Excuse me? Why was Knox in a box? (There’s a Dr. Seuss book in there somewhere.) I understand the whole little kid having a fear of water thing, but I’m having trouble wrapping my mind around what a four-year-old was doing in a box.

While we ponder that, let’s move on to a tweet from nine-year-old Pax (via Brad Pitt’s niece, Josie Neal):

”Santa is dead to me”

Clearly Pax has been spending too much time with Shiloh, who once asked for a dead bird as a pet. And speaking of Shiloh, she appears to be going in a much lighter direction this year.

“Shiloh, six, appeared to be getting involved in the Christmas spirit as she enjoyed a boys’ treasure hunt during their festive holiday even though it was originally billed as ‘bro fun’.”

Where you at Maddox, Zahara and Vivienne? Holler. [Contact Music]