Oh come on, like you haven’t ever imagined your favorite celebrities secretly getting together and living happily ever after. It’s totally not weird that Amelia and I imagined an alternate reality where Kate Winslet and her “Titanic” costar Leo DiCaprio finally get together. Is it? Okay, maybe it is. But when we found out that Leo was the guy who gave Kate away during her recent wedding to a guy named Ned Rocknroll (sorry, still not over it), it seemed like an oddly fated moment…
Julie: Kate Winslet, you’re 37 and you don’t want your parents to know you got married? That is WEIRD.
Amelia: Haha well, I don’t know that they didn’t want them to know, it seems like they just decided to elope. I just think it’s weird that Leo GAVE HER AWAY.
Julie: Totally. That is some weird magical realism story plot line where eventually they end up together, but first he has to watch her marry someone else.
Amelia: I really, really want them to get married.
Julie: But at the same time? I feel like she’s way cooler than him.
Amelia: Yes, but I also think they might be soulmates. And he’s a douche now because he doesn’t have her.
Julie: Do you think he would magically undouche because he finally got her? He’s been dick deep in Victoria’s Secret models since forever.
Amelia: I mean, he probably wouldn’t undouche because this isn’t a romcom. But in a romcom, he would. I mean, I hate that narrative of a dick guy being cured by a good woman, because even if he does change, he was once still a dick, you know?
Julie: Right. and to be fair, we don’t necessarily know that Leo’s a dick. He just makes tragically stereotypical life choices.
Amelia: Yes. True. I mean, he’s one in a million Hollywood stars who do the same thing.
Julie: Although, if life imitated “The Titanic,” it would be like Leo was Billy Zane.