I am way too old to readily admit this, but I still harbor a magpie-like inclination towards particularly sparkly temporary tattoos. Oh, they sell $2 packs of glitter dragons at the Asian convenience store on the corner? Well, I’m probably going to buy some and put them on my body. Also, I can’t find anything about this on the Internet so there is a good chance it no longer exists and nobody will ever believe me, but when I was a kid they came out with these Band-Aids that were, like, pictures and shapes of animals? Did this ever happen? Anyway, they ruled and once I went to the beach covered in them, and nobody wanted to play with me because they thought I had a communicable disease of the flesh. Whatever, assholes!
That’s probably why I’m feeling compelled to purchase these stupid expensive 24-karat gold leaf Dior temporary tattoos. Absolutely not under any circumstances do I need them, but they look so shiny, and wouldn’t that be the perfect climax to my lifelong fake tattoo affinity? Do you think I should get drunk and order them, then lose my shit when I see the charge on my card and realize what I’ve done? Probably! [Nordstrom]