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Sunday Boob Tube Bonanza: Basically, I Just Kept Saying “Holy $%#&!” During The “Dexter” And “Homeland” Finales

two explosive finales

OMG. Those three letters really sum up last night’s finales of “Dexter” and “Homeland,” but of course I have plenty more to say. Spoilers after the jump!

“Dexter.” Last week, Dexter turned in evidence to the police, implicating Hannah in the death of Saul Price, because she had attempted to poison and kill his sister Deb. This week, Dexter was faced when his own legal woes, when LaGuerta arrested him for the murder of Hector Estrada. This was at first confusing — in the last episode, it appeared that Estrada had escaped when Dexter realized LaGuerta was trying to catch him in the act. Well, in turns out that Dexter’s arrest was his own epic double cross, as he planted evidence LaGuerta first thought implicated him in Estrada’s supposed death, but upon further investigation made it appear she was framing “Dexter.” Does that make sense? Regardless, it was brilliant.

Her career may be on the line, but LaGuerta is not giving up on proving Dexter is the Bay Harbor Butcher — and as luck would have it, previously unseen surveillance tapes from the night Travis Marshall was killed in the church fire arrive in her mailbox. They show Deb getting gas near the church just minutes before the fire and LaGuerta uses the evidence to catch Deb in a lie. When Dexter finds out that LaGuerta is now out to get Deb too, he comes to the conclusion that the only way to solve this little problem is by breaking his code completely and killing LaGuerta.

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He’s hoping to kill two bird with one stone, killing Estrada (for real this time) first and then using LaGuerta’s gun to implicate her in his death. He then plans to use Estrada’s gun to kill LaGuerta, so it appears to the police that they shot each other in a gun fight. All of this might have gone swimmingly had Deb not caught on to Dexter’s plan. She shows up to Dexter’s kill space after he’s killed Estrada but before he’s done the deed on a sedated LaGuerta. With her gun poised on Dexter, Deb begs him not to do it. He says it’s the only way. Then LaGuerta wakes up and urges Deb to do what she knows she has to do. “Put him down,” she urges Deb. “This is not who you are. You’re a good person.” Even Dexter, seeing the position he’s put Deb in, relents, telling her, “Do what you gotta do.” And Deb does — she shoots LaGuerta, executing her, saving her brother’s ass and her own career. She immediately runs sobbing to clutch a dead LaGuerta in her arms. Deb is no longer just an accomplice in Dexter’s crimes — she’s officially a killer too.

“Homeland.” This season’s finale of “Homeland” started off a bit slow and romantic, which made the last 15 minutes of the episode especially jaw-dropping. Carrie and Brody, a free man following Abu Nazir’s death and his unofficial split from Jessica, are relishing in a little alone time at their cabin in the woods. They are trying to figure out how they can be together and conclude that it would require them both starting over from scratch — Carrie would have to leave the CIA. She says she needs to think.

Agent Cheekbones still has his sites and his scope set on Brody, who he has been ordered to assassinate by Estes. Perhaps motivated by the romantic interludes he witnesses between Brody and Carrie, Quinn changes his mind and, in a creepy conversation in Estes dimly lit bedroom, tells him that he won’t follow Estes’ orders. “I kill bad guys,” he says. Brody’s information was good and led to the capture and death of Nazir. Plus, killing Brody will kill Carrie, and she’s the best intelligence officer he’s ever seen. Killing Brody, at this point, would just be about covering Estes ass — for his role in the drone attack that killed Issa — and that’s not what Quinn is paid to do. What’s more, if Brody ends up dead, Quinn will be paying a visit to Estes again. “I kill bad guys,” he reminds him, again.

Back at CIA headquarters, Saul and Carrie are reunited and he tells her that he wants to make sure she gets officially reinstated in her previous position. Carrie balks and Saul asks what could possibly be making her rethink her desire to be back at the CIA. “It’s Brody isn’t it?” he asks. Saul reminds her that by being with Brody, there will always be a terrorist in her bed. “You’re the smartest and the dumbest person I’ve ever known,” he says. Saul, keepin’ it real.

Meanwhile, the memorial for Vice President Walden and the burial at sea for Nazir are taking place on the same day. Brody, Carrie, and Estes are attending the former, while Saul has been tasked with overseeing Nazir’s burial. Brody stops by his house to pick up a suit for the service and has a strange conversation with angsty daughter Dana, where he basically tells her that, yes, he did plan to detonate a bomb that one time, but he changed his mind. Interestingly, earlier in the episode, Brody also essentially asks Mike to look after his family, a bit of foreshadowing of what’s to come that I’m still not sure Brody is responsible for.

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So, while Saul is on board a ship in the middle of the ocean, overseeing Nazir’s funeral and deposit into the sea, Brody and Carrie are making eyes at each other at Walden’s memorial at CIA headquarters. Brody gestures with his eyebrows and it’s understood by Carrie that he’s suggesting they leave early. They hasten upstairs to her office where she tells him she’s made her choice — she wants to be with him. They begin to kiss, but Brody is distracted by something he sees out the window. “That’s weird, I didn’t park my car there,” he says. Outside, we see Brody’s car parked right in front of the place where Walden’s service is currently being held. A look of realization washes over Carrie’s face. “Oh shit,” she says.

KABOOM.

Brody’s car detonates, complete destroying everything nearby. The windows of Carrie’s office are blown out and she stumbles, bleeding, to pull a gun from her office drawer. Pointing it at Brody, she accuses him of the attack, “It was you.” Brody tells him he wasn’t responsible — that this must have been Nazir’s plan all along. To die so that the CIA would drop their guard and his ultimate plan against them could be realized. That Roya Hamman and Brody were only pawns in his endgame. At first Carrie doesn’t believe him, but he manages to convince her, but she says no one else will and that she’s cashing in her insurance policy. The two of them go pick a ton of cash, a fake passport and other “on the run” necessities that Carrie had stored away for a rainy day. She plans on taking them across the border to Canada and then on a boat to, like, Newfoundland or something.

Among the dead: Estes, Walden’s wife and son, Finn, and 200+ others. Saul is officially in charge of the CIA now and is distraught when he finds out that Carrie (and Brody) are among those who are presumed dead. Hopeful, though, that his progeny has pulled another slippery move, he leaves Carrie a message: “Carrie, I’m looking for you. Call me.”

Here’s the kicker: Nazir’s terrorist network not only takes responsibility for the bombing, but they also release Brody’s original taped message (the one he recorded before the first planned attack in season one), making it appear like Brody is their suicide bomber. The fact that his car was the bomb doesn’t help either. Brody’s family is distraught but Dana insists her dad didn’t do it. She, after all, said goodbye to him the last time he was planning on committing a terrorist act and it seems like Dana thinks her dad’s mood this time around didn’t indicate he was saying goodbye forever.

Near the Canadian border, Carrie drops Brody off but says she’s not going with him. She’s going to stay and clear his name. Good luck with that, Carrie, considering you helped the CIA’s number one suspect escape. Brody and Carrie share a tear-filled goodbye. “This was love,” Brody tells her. “You and me. … You gave yourself up to me.” “Completely,” she replies

Saul is standing amongst the bodies of the dead, saying a Hebrew prayer, when Carrie enters the room and call his name. His eyes opening, Saul turns toward her and his smile lights up his face. What these two will do next season is anyone’s guess.

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