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8 Santa-Inspired Sex Acts For A Very Merry Christmas (NSFW)

Happy Holidays!
The Frisky is here for you for this holiday season. Need gift ideas? Moral support? Read More »
Ride That Sleigh!

Ho, ho, ho! Who would have thought that jolly ‘ol Saint Nick would inspire anything remotely sexual? Just a quick sleigh ride through the Urban Dictionary and we’ve discovered that Santa is sliding down chimneys and into bedrooms. This Christmas, you may want to stuff one of these in your partner’s stocking. Depending on how naughty or nice they’ve been…

1. The Santa Claus. When a man dresses up in a Santa costume and his partner sits on his lap and has anal sex. Here’s the kicker. A dialogue exchange is involved that ends with the person on top “giving Santa a lump of coal” aka poop on the dick.

2. Santa Clausing. When a man ejaculates on his partner’s chin so that it looks like Santa Claus’ beard.

3. Christmas Present. This refers to having sex with someone as rotund as Mr. or Mrs. Claus.

4. Santa’s Chimney. A blissful urination or poop after a long night of raw, passionate sex, like the cleaning out of a chimney.

5. Santasy. A sexual fantasy involving Santa Claus. Riding sleighs, North Poles, and the like.

6. Lawn Pornament. Any Christmas lawn ornament that has been or can be used as a sex toy. Sounds unsanitary.

7. Santa’s Take. When one partner gets carte blanche to request as much sex as they want because they spent ridiculous amounts of money on Christmas presents.

8. Mrs. Claus Vagina. When a woman has sex for so long that her vagina gets red and swollen like Mrs. Claus’ face.

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