10 Things We Hope Will Happen When Barbara Walters Interviews Honey Boo Boo

We can always count on Barbara Walters to redneckognize greatness. On the short list of her”Most Fascinating People” of 2012 is 7-year-old Alana Thompson, better known as Honey Boo Boo. Walters called her reality show, “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” a loving story:

“The relationship between Alana and her mother — that’s the story, the two of them. It’s very touching … Honey Boo Boo is not an obnoxious little girl. She’s sweet and loving with her mother and loving with her sisters… And now Anna has a new baby, and the baby has [three] thumbs — but so what? It’ll make you smile.”

No mention of all the farting and burping, but we’re hoping Babs will get around to that during the sit-down interview, airing December 12 at 9:30 p.m. I suppose I should mention that other guest will include Hillary Clinton and Gabby Douglas.

But, we know who will steal the spotlight. After the jump, some imagined moments from what has the potential to be one of the most amazing Barbara Walters interviews ever. [US Weekly]

1. Before we even get to the interview, there will be a clip of Alana saying “I’m the most fascinating person! You’d better redneckognize!”

2. Barbara will try to make Alana cry by asking her how it felt to lose her best friend Glitzy the pig. Alana will respond with something overwhelmingly optimistic like: “I miss Glitzy so much but now my pet chicken, Chicken Nugget, is my best friend in the whole wide world!”

3. Alana will give Barbara her very own redneck nickname, “Bow Bow.”

4. Barbara will ask Alana about her Uncle Poodle and where she stands on Poodle marriage rights.

5. They’ll make sketti together and Barbara will hate it.

6. Barbara will try to have a serious moment with June, who will be there as Alana’s chaperone, talking about the girls’ weight and the family’s eating habits and June will not be having it.

7. June will burp, fart or sneeze off set and they won’t edit it out.

8. Barbara will ask what “vajiggle jaggle” is exactly.

9. They’ll play an impromptu game of “Guess Whose Breath?”

10. Barbara will ask Alana what she thinks of “Marack Obama” getting re-elected.

Anything we missed? This interview is ripe with potential.