The Top 10 Poop Bandits
I haven’t publicly written about this yet, but … here goes. For quite a while there was a Poop Bandit plaguing the toilets at Frisky HQ. We share a bathroom with many other offices, so it was nearly impossible to identify the bandit without catching her in the act. We never found out who she was. She was stealth. Her Poop Banditry included dropping poopacalypses several times a day, rendering the toilet of her choosing inoperable and clogging up drains with the paper towels (NOT TOILET PAPER, BUT PAPER TOWELS) she used to wipe herself. She seems to have disappeared back from whence she came and the toilets have been fairly quiet, but we will not forget her and the poopstrosity she imposed upon all of us.
Poop Banditry is a real problem in our world, one that’s not discussed frequently enough, IMHO. Recently, Jonathan Boldt, the Editor in Chief of the Utah Valley University Review was brave enough to speak out about the Poop Bandit terrorizing the restroom near his office:
“We have on the loose what has been dubbed the ‘Poop Bandit’ by our custodial team. Apparently, once a week, this degenerate leaves a fecal surprise on a mirror for our heroic janitors. I don’t use that term lightly—they are heroes. As an eye witness to the mayhem left by this loser, I salute our custodial crew.”
I feel your pain, Sir. Sending you wishes for the speedy apprehension of you PB.
Click onward to learn about some of the worst Poop Bandits to ever have terrorized people with their shit.[UVU Review]