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Sunday Night Boob Tube Bonanza: A Whole Lot Of Ass-Kicking On “The Walking Dead” And “Dexter,” Plus Agent Cheekbones Is Up To Something On “Homeland”

Apologies for not recapping last Monday. I was a little off my game and then our TV-clipping service was down so I couldn’t make clips and recaps are so much more funnn with clips, but yeah, I get it, I am a failure. So, before we get into this week’s episodes, a brief rundown of last week’s episodes of “The Walking Dead,” “Dexter,” and “Homeland,” in haiku form.

“The Walking Dead.” Andrea and the Gov-nah/lovin’ each otha/Carol’s back, let’s greet Michonne!

“Dexter.” Deb blabbed her incest-y crush/Dex prefers Hannah/Isaac still wants his revenge.

“Homeland.” Brody couldn’t deal anymore/Carrie fucked some sense back/Chopper trip to see Nazir!

Got it? Okay great, now let’s move on to last night’s episodes, which I watched before a double-viewing of ”Liz & Dick” because I am loyal like that.

“The Walking Dead.” I’ve barely written about “The Walking Dead” on The Frisky, seeing as I just discovered the show two weeks ago. But I am already caught up and totally obsessed and must quickly review my initial thoughts, stream of consciousness style, on the series as a whole: Shane RIP 4 Ever, I blame you Dale, good riddance Lori, Daryl is an unexpected redneck dreamboat, T-dog — gone too soon, who names their kid Carl, why is Carol’s hair still shaved, totally ‘shipping Maggie and Glenn, did you know the guy who plays Rick is British in real life, and dear god, Andrea is the most annoying character ever just kill her already!!!

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Phew, with that out of the way, last night’s episode. Glenn and Maggie have been captured by Merle, working on behalf of the governor, who’s interrogating them about the whereabouts of their camp and his brother Daryl. Given how butthurt he is over having to cut off his own hand after being left on the roof in season one, Glenn and Maggie are smart not to tell him anything about where Rick et. al. are at. Glenn, who’s become such a sexy bad ass over the course of these three seasons, takes a serious beating and still manages to take down a walker while being strapped to a chair (clip above). Maggie, meanwhile, is forced to face the disssssgusssssssting Governor, who forces her to strip off her shirt as an intimidation tactic. This scene (watch below) was so upsetting. I was so relieved it didn’t go any further and that Maggie and Glenn were at least reunited. Not that they’re out of harm’s way just yet.

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Meanwhile, Michonne, who left the Governor and Andrea behind at their stupid psycho compound and managed to evade capture by Merle, shows up to the prison and Rick’s group tends to her wounds. She seemingly trusts them much more than the Governor and tells them about where Glenn and Maggie are. Rick, Daryl — not realizing his brother is now among the bad guys they’re looking for — Michonne and the prisoner guy who’s name escapes me set off for the compound intent on saving their people. Little do they know what’s in store for them…

Andrea, stupid, stupid, awful, terrible Andrea, is now playing house and smooching on the Governor every chance she gets, even though it’s plain to anyone with a brain that he is PSYCHO. She’s also sitting in on their experiments with dying members of their group, as they try and assess whether any semblance of the original human being still exists in the dead once they come back to life. The Governor, of course, is hoping that his daughter and her peeling gross scalp can be “saved” — turns out not. So what does that mean for the Governor’s future plans? I fear that little baby Kick Ass (aka Judith) is in trouble…

“Dexter.” Ruh-roh, cats out of the bag! Now that Dexter knows that Deb is in love with him, things are kind of awkies, especially since Dexter is in love with Hannah McKay, who is totally a murderer. It’s one thing to be rejected by your brother, it’s another thing to be rejected by your brother for a murderer, amiright? 

Isaac was all about killing Dexter until he found out that basically everyone else wants to kill him so now he actually kind of needs Dexter’s help getting away from the men who want him dead. But why would Dexter help him? To save Hannah’s life, of course. See, Isaac and Dexter may both have questionable morals, but they’re also both motivated by love — after all, Isaac was set on avenging the death of his gay lover, who Dexter killed. Well, that plan has to be put aside now, so Isaac kidnaps Hannah and uses her in order to force Dexter into helping him kill the Russian mobsters who want him dead. Dexter agrees and together they actually make a wonderful pair! Sadly, while Isaac is able to do away with the two hitmen with Dexter’s help, he still ends up dying in the end. Sadz.

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Hannah, meanwhile, is a bad ass and ain’t gonna be nobody’s prisoner. She manages to kill Isaac’s bodyguard but not before being injured herself — in the end, it’s Deb who finds Hannah and makes sure she gets medical attention. But don’t expect her and Hannah to be pals anytime soon — Deb is still trying to convince herself that she’s doing her job.

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“Homeland.” Oh shit, Brody got shoved in a helicopter and was taken god knows where! Luckily, he’s not dead because that would be the end of the show. Also luckily, he’s still on the side of Team CIA and tells them (almost) all about his meeting with Nazir, who just wanted to make sure Brody is still cool with being a terrorist. (Brody didn’t tell the CIA that he and Nazir prayed together. I don’t know if that omission is indicative of something or not.) Nazir’s latest plan is to detonate a bomb at an event welcoming a bunch of troops home, which is supposed to be attended by the Vice-President and Brody. Only Brody isn’t the one wearing the explosive vest this time — no, Roya Hammad is doing the dirty work this time. Brody’s job is to make sure she’s allowed access to the event.

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The CIA is all up in Roya Hammad’s shit now and is really hoping to intercept a meeting between her and Nazir. Alas, that plan doesn’t work out quite well and they don’t end up finding Nazir. Whether this will change Nazir’s plan or potentially blow Brody’s cover remains to be seen.

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The most interesting thing about last night’s episode though? The fact that Agent Cheekbones, aka Peter Quinn, is up to something. Saul suspects he’s working for someone else besides the CIA, so he and the boys do some intel on him, going to his apartment and digging up a picture of a woman who Saul goes and interrogates. She won’t give him any information, but his visit prompts her to call Peter, who then takes a mysterious trip on a bus. The surveillance guys catch some photos of Quinn meeting with someone on the bus — a high ranking CIA officer that Saul recognizes. Just what is Cheekbones doing on this mission? Who is he working for and what is his end game? At the end of the episode, Cheekbones is the guy driving the car that picks up Brody from his house — he pulls a gun, preparing to shoot Brody, but then David Estes comes on his earpiece and tells him to stand down, “we still need him.” What the fuck does Estes know? Who is he taking orders from? Gah!!!!

Oh, also, Mike and Jess started bumping uglies again. Finally.

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